2 Seconds from glory

[Jeff Thomas]

I really want to buy this now

[Matt W]

We both slept around with a lot of White nymphomaniacs with porcelain skin who had narcissistic behaviour with their prurient mind and their promiscous nature to seduce a Blackman. Satisfying their curiosity to be dominated by a Long John Silver [yaaaaaaaarrrrrrr, aye Jim lad] once they went black they never went back. Screaming their erotic orgasm as their clitoris was gushing out wet bursting open like a pregnant woman when their water breaks. [gushing clitoris sounds painful]. Their raunchy attitude never getting enough jamming our pricks down their mouth, choking and hemorrhaging on our warm cum clogged in their throat. Their eyes roll back in their heads while dilating ecstasy. Worshipping your penis lke the only God they know. When I got tired of busting my nut, she wanted takeout so I let my quintet off friends have the leftovers like a buffet dinner. She was so hungry and starving for more, so much greed. She wanted dessert, a chocolate custard banana split with cream filling, dipping her head back and forth and dripping and exploding your load on her face. [oo-er...I don't think he's talking about food!]. She licked her tongue on her lips sucking on the cream of delight with her fingers. She likes her sex rough and hard. She wants it up the back, sticking it in the rear, she cries ecstatically with joy thirsting for an orgy. [Really? Or did you just make that up Meldrick?]

The chapter bizarrely just ends there...doesn't really talk about the aftermath of the fight at all.

Any photos included in this chapter? If so, then I'm buying this motherfucker. Jeez, I hope he's using the royal 'We' as I lose all respect for men who share a woman, something a bit, you know, about it (no offence to Boxer guys who have done this, yous get a pass).

As for worst bios, this could top Holyfield's bio, something soemthing the third wrote it and it is a piece of shit (Holyfield was unlucky against Toney, really?) and the tome Blood In My Coffee by the 'Fight Doctor'.

If you want sex then check out Benn's "I twatted everyone and then went to a country mansion for an orgy" autbio. It is like a violent version of a Squeeze song.

I hear you, he almost convinced me that his greatest victory was against Jeremy Bates.

[Scottrf]

I really want to buy this now

Orbtastic has a copy to sell.

I quite wanna read it too, but think I'll make do with the snippets, would annoy me too much if I'd spent money on it.

[orbtastic]

Which Holyfield book is it? there's 3 (?) I've an old one, think it was ghostwritten by someone else but I remember thinking it was particularly bad. The Benn one, he's one my favourite fighters but it's one of the worst written boxing bios I've ever read. It has some shocking errors in it too. I have the first printing and picked up another for my bro, years later, expecting it to have corrected the errors. Nope.

I will continue to type up bits when I got more time, probably tonight now.

[Teddy's Toupee]

'an Ewok trying to climb a giant red on Endor'

When is Simon Fox going to publish his "Confessions of a Windowcleaner" diaries? Meldrick Taylor and Kris Akabusi would feel like a right pair of limp-dicked losers after reading about Mr.Fox's "extendable" pole.

[jameswilson]

Any photos included in this chapter? .

There's only one picture in the whole book. I can't understand why it's there tho? Any ideas orb?

[ApolloCreed]

Sounds like it was written in using that voice recognition software maybe?
What's all that bout kris akabusi? Spoofing his book is it?

[Srebmun]

I really want to buy this now

Orbtastic has a copy to sell.

I quite wanna read it too, but think I'll make do with the snippets, would annoy me too much if I'd spent money on it.

x 3

Sounds like the greatest book ever.

[palooka]

'an Ewok trying to climb a giant red on Endor'

When is Simon Fox going to publish his "Confessions of a Windowcleaner" diaries? Meldrick Taylor and Kris Akabusi would feel like a right pair of limp-dicked losers after reading about Mr.Fox's "extendable" pole.

It's all lies

[Matt W]

Which Holyfield book is it? there's 3 (?) I've an old one, think it was ghostwritten by someone else but I remember thinking it was particularly bad. The Benn one, he's one my favourite fighters but it's one of the worst written boxing bios I've ever read. It has some shocking errors in it too. I have the first printing and picked up another for my bro, years later, expecting it to have corrected the errors. Nope.

I will continue to type up bits when I got more time, probably tonight now.

The one I'm referring to is 'Becoming Deluded'. Sorry, 'Becoming Holyfield'.

[Teddy's Toupee]

'an Ewok trying to climb a giant red on Endor'

When is Simon Fox going to publish his "Confessions of a Windowcleaner" diaries? Meldrick Taylor and Kris Akabusi would feel like a right pair of limp-dicked losers after reading about Mr.Fox's "extendable" pole.

It's all lies

All posts relating to Simon Fox made by "Teddy's Toupee" are, indeed, all scurrilous, unfounded, untrue, and a defamatory distortion of the fine, generous, selfless pillar of the community that is the inestimable Mr.Fox.

[Teddy's Toupee]

When is Simon Fox going to publish his "Confessions of a Windowcleaner" diaries? Meldrick Taylor and Kris Akabusi would feel like a right pair of limp-dicked losers after reading about Mr.Fox's "extendable" pole.

It's all lies

All posts relating to Simon Fox made by "Teddy's Toupee" are, indeed, all scurrilous, unfounded, untrue, and a defamatory distortion of the fine, generous, selfless pillar of the community that is the inestimable Mr.Fox.

Who the hell has hacked into my boxrec membership account? Is it you Simon?

[ApolloCreed]

Akabusi stories are quality but can anyone tell me where they started, ie is it taking the piss from his autobiography or what?

[GAV]

This book sounds like it would be genius if it was used to highlight just how much damage a boxer can suffer when they fight for too long. Its a wonder it never made the bestseller list

[demolitiondaley]

I mentioned this in the "boxing books" thread on here but I'm now halfway through Meldrick Taylor's autobiography and I cannot believe what I am reading.

Has anyone read this? I must admit I had no idea it existed, and wondered why it was only available from his website. After reading 2 chapters I know exactly why it's only sold via his website.

Do not under any circumstances buy this book, it is possibly the worst book I've ever read in my entire life. It's easily the worst written book I've ever attempted to read. It cost me nearly $40 and I've half a mind to ask for a refund.

The book starts off thanking everyone, and mentions how much time his friend (the guy you paypal the money to) spent "checking" the book and helping him write it. Well all I can say is, his friend must be a f*cking idiot who is blind to boot. I have never read such an incoherant mess as this. Every page is littered with spelling and grammatical errors, it constantly switches tense, even mid sentence at some points.

The book is split into chapters which make absolutely no sense, each "paragraph" is a series of very short sentences, like a child has dicated what he ate for lunch i.e. For lunch I had soup. Then I had bread. Then I drank water. Then I went to play. It was good. I liked it.

It talks about the Chavez fight in one chapter which ends with a ridiculously incoherant rant about Richard Steele which makes no sense (I have tried to read it ten times now, it still looks like he's just written down 20 words that describe Steele and not attempted to join them together in any way), then there's 2 rambling chapters about his holiday and business and then another chapter on the Chavez fight, which more or less repeats the previous chapter but leaves out the Steele rant.

Some chapters are only a page and a half long. Halfway through the book he just randomly mentions when he was born and that he has 3 siblings, then carries on talking about what he was talking about in the previous sentence.

Nearly every page shoehorns God into it, and he randomly throws in bible quotations into every chapter.

I will pick out my favourite bits and type them in, see if it makes sense to any of you.

If the book wasn't $40 with shipping, I would say go get a copy because you will get some entertainment out of it. The people leaving the book testimonials on his website must be either high on crack or on the payroll.

Thanks, that just cracked me up

[orbtastic]

From the chapter "Puberty" where Meldrick takes five pages of bible quotations, rambling passages on why God isn't white to his first mention of being a child.

"The Hip Hop and Rap industry superseded and overrode Rock and Roll. The white main stream was saying that Rap would never last. they were wrong. So they had to get on board and take a ride. Rap music permeated and pervaded every endeavor of society so white America capitalize off black people spitting rhymes and dropping betas mixing and scratching the turntable. Black people of the Diaspora set the trend of culture that built civilization everywhere they migrated the idiom of society was created by divinely inspired ingenuity. We are the salt of the earth and the light of the world the sons and daughters of the creator. Tehre will be no reason for the sun, the moon and the stars, the waters and the seas, oceans and river all of these were created of us and for us. Case in point, black people get vitamin D from the sun, white people get skin cancer, and melanoma and the one people shall be songer than the other people. Where is the Caucasian Mike Tyson or the white Michael Jordan, what white baseball player can hit home runs like Barry Bonds. Look at Tiger Woods, the youngest and greatest golfer of all times. Need I say more? Quit while you are ahead. Please don't say jack Nicholas, he can't hold a candlestick [lol] to Tiger or carry his jock straps. Rocky Marciano beat Joe Louis because of his age and Jess Willard beat JAck Johnson because he was worried about his sick mother and concern about going home to see her [wow...this is one for the BOTP crew]. The only way the white man can keep up with the black man and compete with us is when he fantasizes his make-believe comic book characters and television cartoons. Like Superman, Batman and Spiderman, they act like charlatans. They know damn well Black people are supernatural [we're back to spelling black with a capital B now, I see]. She wants him tall, dark and handsome. Why do you think the white woman desires the black man? She knows he is superior. she knows that at one time she used to be the black man's concubine, a bed wench, sex slave that fulfilled her sexual overtones and she still squirms at the presence of the black man when she is around, hallucinating her fantasies when she comes out of her trance she wipes off the sweat from her forehead and lick her lips realizing the senstation she just had and now the white man got to be worrying about the black man nailing and baning his wife. The only reason she won't leave her husband is because the money he spends on her too good to give up on. But she takes some of the money to buy her black lover a gift showing her appreciation for the f*ck she would never get at home with her impotent husband.

American invention was the quickest and fastest animation of science and technology advancement in modern day time. 50 years ago the television was not invented [hm are you sure? I'm pretty sure it was fella]. They listened to the radio. 1900 industrializ age was born during reconstruction period after Civil War. Your steel mills railroads tracks were laid down for the cargo trains to make its route across Southern Coast. bible quotation time - Maccabees 3:41.
In today times we as black people play Sport's for the White people's entertainment and get pay millions from white owner. Who's more Talented then us and World renown, but we are still under the white man yoke a burden to work for peanuts. We are home born slaves in the 20th Century, no matter which way you slice it; they call the shots for now.

The Star War Initiative Program, The Space Station they are building in Outer Space. It's a base for the powers of the League of Nation, to fight against Jesus Christ and prohibit his second coming. They are putting together weapons, laser beams and radar guns, to fight black Jesus in the heavens. Why do they think they travel back and forth to The Space Station, it's not for experiments."


Possibly the oddest chapter in the book...doesn't talk about his childhood at all (or even his "puberty" for that matter) other than listening to hip-hop. I think he's got a few large chips on his shoulder.

[Counter-puncher]

if I ever choose to fight Black Jesus, I certainly won't be doing it in the heavens. no way I am ceding home advantage to Black Jesus, he's going to have to take his chance with the judges away from home.

[Lenny]

if I ever choose to fight Black Jesus, I certainly won't be doing it in the heavens. no way I am ceding home advantage to Black Jesus, he's going to have to take his chance with the judges away from home.

[Scottrf]

St. Peter would have you losing a shutout before it's begun.

[TheCobra]

"My kids have always been my inspiration who live through and looks up to me to give them the direction and guidance to be best God created them to be they are go my to do great things in their life."

Hard to believe someone read that and left it in. Shocking.

I could write better sentences when I was 5, this is bad! ZOMG!!!

[orbtastic]

I think (without having read further in the book) he's part of some fairly loony black Jewish fringe church

[Counter-puncher]

I think (without having read further in the book) he's part of some fairly loony black Jewish fringe church

is there any other kind of black Jewish fringe church?

[orbtastic]

if I ever choose to fight Black Jesus, I certainly won't be doing it in the heavens. no way I am ceding home advantage to Black Jesus, he's going to have to take his chance with the judges away from home.

Not fancy your chances armed with a laser beam & radar gun?

[orbtastic]

I think (without having read further in the book) he's part of some fairly loony black Jewish fringe church

is there any other kind of black Jewish fringe church?

well, I thought the Judahs [for example] etc were fairly...what's the word I'm reaching for - "normal" in the overall scale of these things?

[Counter-puncher]

if I ever choose to fight Black Jesus, I certainly won't be doing it in the heavens. no way I am ceding home advantage to Black Jesus, he's going to have to take his chance with the judges away from home.

Not fancy your chances armed with a laser beam & radar gun?

with home advantage I'm confident I could break Black Jesus down with bodyshots but I ain't fighting that guy in heaven, no way.