Thank you to those of you on here who actually refrained from taking part in any of the slanderous bollox that has been written over the last year.
Unfortunately some people didnt fall into that same category .
Its been a difficult time for me since June last year, I knew all along that what happened was nothing i had done wrong but it didnt stop me becoming very down and eventually depressed severely. Reading news reports that are totally incorrect yet taken as fact, being hounded by journalist day and night for weeks afterwards and the obvious guilt, wondering what i could have done differently etc all played its part until the time came when id had enough and attempted to take my own life in August.
I wont go into the details of what i did or why it didnt work, but needless to say im still here, but i genuinely no longer wanted to live.
I ended up having to be on two lots of depression medication as well as sleeping pills and had to be monitored by the mental health crisis team who had to consider if i should be sectioned for my own protection etc.
This was all in the midst of having a relationship breakdown so it felt like there was really no point any more.
But it actually turned out that my ex partner was the biggest support i could ever have had.
With her help i sought help from a CBT therapist and have slowly begun to exercise more (my weight ballooned up whilst at my darkest point)
At this point were good friends but i dont know if there will be a full reconciliation, but what she has done is to help me return to being me.
Ive always been a very positive person and it shocked me how low i became, i would never have thought depression could ever take hold of me, ive shown that nobody is immune to it.
I gave up on my entire life but ive now started to claw my way back up, i vowed id never promote another show, which so far i havent, but i do have my comeback show this coming saturday, its just a little dinner show with a dozen bouts and wont be hugely attended but its just a case of me getting myself back out there again.
Ive also applied and been succesfully accepted to continue my next stage of college towards the aim of qualifying as a paramedic. Although i wont know how much effect this year has had until i start applying for University around Christmas time as there a possibilty that the depression (and a minor criminal record from my youth) may prevent me being allowed to take the idea further.
With that in light ive also continued to look at plan B , which will run alongside, something ive said i would do for a while, which is to turn pro, but ill not be doing it with the BBBoC , ive already had several discussions and after ive promoted one more show in summer im expecting to become an MBC licensed promoter.
The crap ive dealt with over the last year, i know theres no reason i cant now spin that into a positive, if that couldnt beat me nothing will.
The inquest itself yesterday was very nerve wracking despite me having a pretty good idea of how it was going to go. especially considering that i was the only person there (aside from reporters) who wasnt a member of Lance's family . But they accepted me and i sat through the inquest with Lance's 2 sisters.
I know this sounds like im just talking about myself here rather than the terrible loss of life, im just trying to portray the difficult year its been.
But im bouncing back and i aim to be more determined than ever.
As far as the unlicensed boxing goes, i tried to get as many people involved as possible to create a new official standard for the shows that people put on. Not everyone was keen in losing a say in how they run their own shows, but i did recruit a few into our OIBA organisation. As of July last year all OIBA shows have to not only have the paramedics and ambulance in attendance, which has always been the case, but all boxers along with their pre fight medical have to now do a yearly medical which is pretty similar to the 3 year medical that the aba have. Along with random urine tests of a minimum of 2 boxers per show, this now ensures we are also able to offer a high level of insurance which is covered for our own events only (each policy lasts 48 hours and is renewed each bout)
Of course let all this be a stark warning of the dangers of using fat burners too, unfortunately we cannot test for these, so now it becomes about educating people about the dangers of them.
On a final note, Boxing chat your a prick and im now looking into finding out who you are due to your comments on this thread. And also i know somehow somewhere, Paul Smith will read this or someone whos close to him will read this : and he will probably react in the same gobby way as usual , but just remember that i wont forget what you wrote on numerous occasions on Facebook and Twitter for the world to see, one day our paths will cross
Thankfully i can now in the most part put this last year at an end