BoxRec

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,

she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

what he had to say for himself.

The man replied,

'Well your Honor, it was like this:

when the lady got on the bus,

I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat down under a sign that said,

'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,

'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'

... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

raylawpc wrote:CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,

she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

what he had to say for himself.

The man replied,

'Well your Honor, it was like this:

when the lady got on the bus,

I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat down under a sign that said,

'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,

'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'

... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

raylawpc wrote:

Rick Farris wrote:
George Dixon was the first black fighter to ever win a world boxing championship. In the 1890's, he held both the bantamweight and featherweight title. Tom Ray can take credit for his induction this year. I wasn't up on every single "inducted" boxer when I started out here, and there were many who have been overlooked. As I started to dig thru the records I found that several of the boxers who had been inducted were not listed on the roll call. Jimmy Lennon Sr. was not listed, although junior was. Charley Goldman, Jake Shagrue, and quite a few others were not listed. Other names were mispelled (Jack Blackburn was listed as "Mack Blackburn"). I was amazed that they had let the program be printed without one previous board member aware of the incomplete list. How could that happen? Sine I found the discrepency, I'm fixing it. If it's not totally accurate, you can put the blame on me. The World Boxing Hall of Fame, today, consistes of a banquet and a program. That program is the WBHOF. It has the potential to be a nice publication, but the Hall of Fame is about preserving history, and should be accountable for "honoring" legends, not ignoring them. Of course, the first thing I do when I list the names of the "new" inductees is list "George" as "Joe" (and I'm the one who put the name in for immediate induction.) I know who he was, but you gotta take into consideration I akso took a few shots to the head myself, so I'll use that as my excuse.


-Rick Farris

If that's the case, they really do need to ban boxing because I only had a handful of amateur fights, and I make the same kind of mistake all the time. I take comfort when somebody else my age does the same thing.

Fortunately, the guy you did it to has been dead for 100 years, so he won't care. I do it with clients. This is what it sounds like in my office all the time:

"Have you finished that deed for Joe Dixon?"

"Who?"

"Joe Dixon."

"Don't you mean George Dixon?"

"That's what I said."

"No, you said Joe Dixon."

"I did? "

My son calls this lapse of memory a "brain fart." (As in - "Dad had another brain fart.") A very apt description, if you ask me.

Thank goodness I haven't had a brain fart in front of a client - so far . . .

Tom, you must be feeling good this morning, coming up with all this funny stuff. keep it coming, the funny stuff that is.

Rick Farris wrote:A Farrah Fawcett memory . . .

This story is not my own, but comes from another boxing writer I know who also works in the film industry.
My friend was a top TV commercial producer from the 1960's thru 90's.
He and I have worked for major commercial production companies, and with many of the same people, at different times..
We used to E-mail each other with funny stories about the business, and this is one of his E-mails to me from 2003.
Typical film set stuff.

(This story was copied off my E-Mail)
_________________________________________________


Rick, I thought you might like this one.
Just our talking about director's who were assholes brought this story to mind. I think you'll get a kick out of it . . .

It was the late 60's and I came to California to shoot a large commercial at the EUE/Screen Gems backlot in Burbank.

The director was a scrunched up little guy with a goatee. He looked like a disgruntled garden gnome.
Grumpy from "The Seven Dwarfs" comes to mind.

Anyway, he's one of these guys that whatever you've done, he's done something better. You went to the moon ... he went to Jupitor.
Just a major pain-in-the-ass ... so I decided to fix his wagon, and let the crew in on it.

To give you an idea how long ago this was, Farrah Fawcett was an Extra.
I saw him look at her, so I went over to him, "You want her, Bill?"
"You know her?" he asked. I said, "No problem, I'll fix it."

So I walked all the way over to the other side of the stage and asked if she was a member of Screen Actors Guild. She nodded "Yes".
Then I asked her if she had any commercials running. Again, she nodded, "Yes."
So I turned to him and give him a a big "OK" sign with my hand.

When I went back over to him, I told him to, "get rid of the wife tonight, and your girlfriend (who was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel) and be in your room naked at 10pm and she'll be there."

After we wrapped for the day, I went and got a good friend, who was a receptionist for Jay Sebring, the hair stylist that was later murdered with Sharon Tate.
I told her to call the director at 10pm and say her husband was coming home and she couldn't make it tonight.
Because he had no idea what Farrah sounded like.

At 10, she calls ... and was better than my wildest dreams.
She gets on with this sexy, husky voice and says she can't make it because her husband is coming home, but she wants to jump on the director's head, sit on his face ... do everything you can possibly imagine.
Can she postpone until tomorrow night?

So, the next day, I ask him, "How'd it go?"
"Some confusion, but we'll meet tonight," he said.
So all day, whenever he's near her, he gives her a big wink, or a leer, and she's oblivious to everything.

Finally, they have to change film in the camera, and he sidles up to her and whispers in her ear, and she leaps backwards, like she just found a turd in her lunch. "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?.

He stood there without turning to face us, because he knew he'd been had. When he finally turned around, steam coming out of his ears, the crew was all over the place, laughing.

For the rest of the shoot, he never acted again like he had a stick up his ass, and he also never spoke to me again . . . ever.


-Rick Farris

This reminds me of a trick British comedian Freddie Starr would often play on 'groupies' after his shows. He would invite one of them back to his swanky hotel in his chauffeur-driven Bentley, take her outside on to the balcony and give her one from behind. However, it was actually his chauffeur, sneaking through the balcony curtains, who was doing the business and Freddie would dash down and wave up at the girl from the street.

I remember travelling through Camden, New Jersey in 1965. Believe, there was an incrediable amount of blight in the said city at the time. In other words, Camden was a "dump." Of course, I had never seen such blight while living in Southern California at that time. But so many neighborhoods in the Los Angeles went downhill in a dramatic way since 1965.

- Chuck Johnston

Chuck1052 wrote:I remember travelling through Camden, New Jersey in 1965. Believe, there was an incrediable amount of blight in the said city at the time. In other words, Camden was a "dump." Of course, I had never seen such blight while living in Southern California at that time. But so many neighborhoods in the Los Angeles went downhill in a dramatic way since 1965.

- Chuck Johnston

I read that someone once described LA as "72 suburbs in search of a city."

Tom, that someone describes the metropolis of Los Angeles well.

- Chuck Johnston

I think it was Dorothy Parker, but I can't remember for sure.

Alexis Arguello has shot himself through his mighty heart. There are no words...
There never will be.

Alexis Arguello, boxing champ and Managua mayor, found dead


Esteban Felix / Associated Press
Alexis Arguello, three-time world boxing champion, during his campaign for mayor of Managua in 2008.

The Hall of Fame boxer was known as 'The Explosive Thin Man' in the ring.
Associated Press
July 1, 2009

MANAGUA, Nicaragua -- Former boxing champion Alexis Arguello, considered one of the best lightweights to step in the ring, has been found dead.

Presidential spokeswoman Rosario Murillo confirmed Arguello's death early today.

The 57-year-old Arguello was elected mayor of Managua last year. He turned pro in 1968 and won his first title by knocking out Ruben Olivares for the featherweight crown. He later captured the super featherweight and lightweight belts, becoming the sixth boxer to win titles in three weight classes.

He retired in 1995 with a record of 82-8 with 65 knockouts, and was inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame in 1992.

Born in 1952, he was known as "The Explosive Thin Man" in the ring.


His Sandinista party's Radio Ya said coroners are conducting an autopsy to determine the cause of death.

SUNNY SPAIN

I figured out why they put Spain on the map. It s for those natural bond Dutch,German,and Scandanavian broads to go to the beach to take their tops off. They know their porceline skin will tan up just right and they can relax without anyone bothering them. There s some nude beaches in the area,but since I m with the wife and kids ,I have to back off.But one of th3es3e days I might slip away. I always wondered what it would be like to see the sun s rays bouncing off their alabaster bodies. Besides natural blond hair has always fascinated me.

Rick,the name of that beer is Augustina Helles.

And the name of that town is not Wolfgangness,but Wolfgangsee. That s the third time I mentioned this. I( wonder if Im part German.

This morning, I was shocked to learn about the premature death of Alexis Arguello, a truly great fighter and gentleman who was very nice to boxing fans. I saw Arguello fight Bobby Chacon, Andy Ganigan and Aaron Pryor (the second fight) in person. Moreover, I may still have a photo of Arguello and myself which was taken during the early 1980s. I hope that Arguello's family, friends and fans accept my condolences.

- Chuck Johnston

dagosd2000 wrote:SUNNY SPAIN

I figured out why they put Spain on the map. It s for those natural bond Dutch,German,and Scandanavian broads to go to the beach to take their tops off. They know their porceline skin will tan up just right and they can relax without anyone bothering them. There s some nude beaches in the area,but since I m with the wife and kids ,I have to back off.But one of th3es3e days I might slip away. I always wondered what it would be like to see the sun s rays bouncing off their alabaster bodies. Besides natural blond hair has always fascinated me.

Rick,the name of that beer is Augustina Helles.

And the name of that town is not Wolfgangness,but Wolfgangsee. That s the third time I mentioned this. I( wonder if Im part German.

If you were part German, you would have recommended Paulaner Hefe-Weissbier Naturtrüb - a wonderful German wheat beer. For lager, try Paulaner Helles Lager. I like the Paulaner brand - brewed out of Munich. Much better than American beer. (Even Adolphus Busch - the founder of Anheuser-Busch - called Budweiser "dot schlop.") (Just kidding you a little, Roger - Augustina helles is good beer, too!)

Oscar-winning actor Karl Malden dies at 97


Warner Brothers
Malden won a best supporting actor Oscar for his role as Mitch in "A Streetcar Named Desire."
Malden starred in TV's 'The Streets of San Francisco' and made famous the American Express catchphrase 'Don't leave home without it.' He appeared in more than 50 films over his long career.

By Dennis McLellan
July 1, 2009

Karl Malden, one of Hollywood's strongest and most versatile supporting actors, who won an Oscar playing his Broadway-originated role as Mitch in "A Streetcar Named Desire," died today. He was 97.

Malden starred in the 1970s TV series "The Streets of San Francisco" and was the longtime American Express traveler's-check spokesman, warning travelers to not leave home without it. He died of natural causes at his home in Brentwood, said his daughter Mila Doerner.

With his unglamorous mug -- he broke his bulbous nose twice playing sports as a teenager -- the former Indiana steel-mill worker realized early on the course his acting career would take.

"I was so incredibly lucky," Malden once told The Times. "I knew I wasn't a leading man. Take a look at this face." But, he vowed as a young man, he wasn't going to let his looks hamper his ambition to succeed as an actor.

In a movie career that flourished in the 1950s and '60s, Malden played a variety of roles in more than 50 films, including the sympathetic priest in "On the Waterfront," the resentful husband in "Baby Doll," the warden in "Birdman of Alcatraz," the outlaw-turned-sheriff in "One-Eyed Jacks," the pioneer patriarch in "How the West Was Won," Madame Rose's suitor in "Gypsy," the card dealerin "The Cincinnati Kid" and Gen. Omar Bradley in "Patton."

His varied performances established Malden, former Times film critic Charles Champlin once wrote, "as an Everyman, but one whose range moved easily up and down the levels of society and the IQ scale, from heroes to heavies and ordinary, decent guys just trying to get along."

Malden was a longtime holdout to television until he agreed to play Lt. Mike Stone on the ABC police drama "The Streets of San Francisco," with Michael Douglas. The series, which ran from 1972 to 1977, earned Malden four consecutive Emmy nominations as lead actor in a drama series.

When he finally won his sole Emmy, it was for outstanding supporting actor in a limited series or special, as a man who begins to suspect that his daughter was murdered by her husband in the fact-based 1984 miniseries "Fatal Vision."

Malden also starred in "Skag," a short-lived 1980 NBC dramatic series in which he played a Serbian family man and union foreman at a Pittsburgh steel mill.

But for all his movie and television roles, it was primarily the series of American Express traveler's-check commercials Malden made between 1973 and 1994 that gave him his greatest public recognition. (Even Johnny Carson, complete with fake proboscis, dark suit and short-brimmed fedora, spoofed Malden's sober-faced commercials on "The Tonight Show.")

"After 50 years of doing all those other things in the business, wherever I go, the one thing people will say to me is, 'Don't leave home without it,' " Malden said in 1989. "What am I going to say? It's kind of frustrating in a way, but at the same time, American Express has been very good to me, and it's given me independence. I don't have to jump at anything and everything that comes my way."

He was born Mladen Sekulovich in Chicago on March 22, 1912, the son of an immigrant mother from the nation that later became Czechoslovakia and a Serbian father, who delivered milk for 38 years.

Malden spoke little English until after his family moved from their Serbian enclave in Chicago to the steel-mill community of Gary, Ind., when he was 5.

Malden's father was a theater lover who staged Serbian plays in the church and in Serbian patriotic organizations in Gary. As a teenager, Malden played heavies -- usually Turks, complete with a big, black mustache -- in his father's productions.

Its a sad day with the loss of Alexis Arguello.
He was a great fighter and a class act. Back in the seventies and eighties when trash talk really became the rule , not the exception, Alexis always carried himself like a gentleman.Always with respect towards his opponent. I remember after stopping Mancini on national tv, Alexis consoled the kid and encouraged the young fighter.
After he knocked out Billy Costello, same deal. I'll never forget Arguello telling Costello after knocking him out, "you can do better then that Billy". He was sincere. I was a fan of" El Flaco Explosivo".

Expug wrote:Its a sad day with the loss of Alexis Arguello.
He was a great fighter and a class act. Back in the seventies and eighties when trash talk really became the rule , not the exception, Alexis always carried himself like a gentleman.Always with respect towards his opponent. I remember after stopping Mancini on national tv, Alexis consoled the kid and encouraged the young fighter.
After he knocked out Billy Costello, same deal. I'll never forget Arguello telling Costello after knocking him out, "you can do better then that Billy". He was sincere. I was a fan of" El Flaco Explosivo".

Brian . . . This saddens me beyong words.
R.I.P. Great Champion Alexis Arguello.

Alexis Arguello
1952-2009


Alexis Arguello vs Aaron Pryor
Orange Bowl, Miami, Florida
November 12, 1982

"See, I respect boxing because it has given me so much and that’s why I will never allow anyone to mistreat the sport of boxing if I can help it."
- Alexis Arguello

In an era that produced such stellar fighters as; Roberto Duran, Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Hagler, Tommy Hearns, Wilfredo benitz, Wilfredo Gomez, Salvador Sanchez, Bobby Chacon, Danny "Little Red" Lopez, Ruben Olivares , and in a sport where even the contenders held the mantel of greatness with aplomb and grace, Alexis Arguello stood as tall as any of them. In an era where great fighters fought each other for the right to be called the best, Alexis Arguello fought the best.

Arguello fought his first fight forty one years ago, August 1, 1968 in Managua, Nicaragua against someone named Cachorro Amaya, getting stopped in the first round of a scheduled four round fight. He fought his last fight on January 21, 1995 in Las Vegas, Nevada, losing a ten round decision to Scott Walker. In between those years Arguello won titles in three weight classes; Featherweight, Super Featherweight, and Lightweight. He lifted the WBA Featherweight crown from Mexican great "Rockabye" Ruben Olivares on November 23, 1974 stopping Olivares in the 13th round of their 15 round fight. He successfully defended his title several times before moving up in weight to challenge Alfredo Escalera for the WBC Super Featherweight title. The fight took place on January 1, 1978 in Escalera's home turf of San Juan, Puerto Rico. Arguello won a hard fought and exciting fight by stopping Escalera in the 13th round. On June 20, 1981 Arguello once again moved up to challenge the respected WBC Lightweight champion from the United Kingdom, Jim Watt. The fight, which took place at the Empire Pool, Wembley, London, went the distance. Arguello won the fight with a 15 round unanimous decision. It was Watt's last fight and Alexis Arguello's third title.

Arguello defended his titles against the likes of Bobby Chacon, Ruben Castillo, Cornelius Boza Edwards, Jose Luis Ramirez, Rafael "Bazooka" Limon, Andy Ganigan, Ray Mancini and so many more. He never gave anything but his best when he stepped into the ring. He was a champion in the truest sense of the world. He was also a champion with compassion. Who can forget his fight with Ray Mancini, who fighting valiantly, as much for his father as for himself, was finally stopped in the 14th round of their fight. Arguello, as much a gentleman as he was a champion, put his arm around Mancini and reminded him, that he too failed in his first bid for a world title, a 15 round decision to Ernesto Marcel of Panama. He encouraged Mancini and let him know that his day would come. That act of mercy and compassion would become his signature, his trademark.

Arguello was already an all time great when he moved up once again to
challenge the great Aaron Pryor for Pryor's WBA Junior welterweight title, for an unprecedented fourth title. On November 12, 1982, Alexis Arguello and Aaron Pryor fought their way into boxing immortality, in one of the great fights of the 1980's, a fight that would stand out in any era.

On this night it would be Aaron Pryor that would have his arms raised in victory. In the 14th round, after a grueling, exhausting and exciting fight, Alexis Arguello was knocked out, and in a sickening manner. It was painful. Up to that point it was still anyone's fight. Arguello had landed right hands that would have knocked out middleweights but Pryor was at the top of his game that night. There would be no fourth title for Arguello.

Arguello had two more fights before once again challenging Aaron Pryor for the title. His first fight after his loss to Pryor was against Vilomar Fernandez of the Bronx, New York, by way of the Dominican Republic, winning a 10 round decision and avenging an 1978 loss to Fernandez. Next up was former WBALightweight Champ Claude Noel. Noel was knocked out in the 3rd round. The second Arguello-Pryor fight ended with a 10th round KO of Arguello. Arguello retired but came back two years later to fight Pat Jefferson, knocking him out in the 5th round. His next fight was with former WBC Lightweight Champion Billy Costello. The durable Costello was stopped in the fourth round.

Arguello has been a favorite of mine from the very beginning. He was the epitome of coolness in the ring and the master of patience. He was a master counter puncher and a consumate professional. It's not enough to say that he was a great Latin fighter, he was a great fighter, a great champion. He will be missed by his fans.

I met Alexis Arguello in 1976 while training at the Main Street Gym in Los Angeles. He was training for a fight. I can't remember who his opponent was but looking at his record the only fight that shows in that time frame is a fight with Salvador Torres at the Forum in Inglewood, a fight he won by a 3rd round knockout. Arguello was only there a week or so but I had the chance to meet him, talk with and shake his hand. He was very humble, reserved and quiet.

Alexis Arguello died earlier today, the victim of a self inflicted gun shot wound. A suicide. I cannot imagine what demons drove him to such an act. Alexis was born on April 19, 1952. He was 57 at the time of his death. It is a great loss to his family and friends, his countrymen and the sport of boxing. He will always be remembered as a class act. A good guy. A man who gave his all to his sport. Even in losing, he lost like a champion, going out on his shield. He will always be a champion. He belongs to history now.

My condolences to the family of Alexis Arguello. Rest in peace Champ! You will be missed.

Rick, and Randy, when you guys watched Arguello fight , you saw the same things I did Im sure.
Remember how smooth that guys punches flowed ? He threw great combinations . Jab, hook off the jab to the body, straight right hand, left uppercut, etc.
He was really something.He could hurt a guy with both hands. I dont know if it can be articulated...he was a real fighters, fighter.He was really something to see.

Expug wrote:Rick, and Randy, when you guys watched Arguello fight , you saw the same things I did Im sure.
Remember how smooth that guys punches flowed ? He threw great combinations . Jab, hook off the jab to the body, straight right hand, left uppercut, etc.
He was really something.He could hurt a guy with both hands. I dont know if it can be articulated...he was a real fighters, fighter.He was really something to see.

A fighters fighter and a Champions champion! You said it Brian! We saw the same things. This one really hit home.

Randy

deleted

Expug wrote:Rick, and Randy, when you guys watched Arguello fight , you saw the same things I did Im sure.
Remember how smooth that guys punches flowed ? He threw great combinations . Jab, hook off the jab to the body, straight right hand, left uppercut, etc.
He was really something.He could hurt a guy with both hands. I dont know if it can be articulated...he was a real fighters, fighter.He was really something to see.

Brian . . I boxed with Arguello at the Main Street Gym prior to his challenging Ruben Olivares for the featherweight title.
I knew immediatly that Olivares might be in big trouble, especially after Alexis parted me down the middle with that booming right hand. It landed high on my forehead, I think, it wasn't on the chin luckily, even so it rattled me. I knew that if Olivares wasn't in the best of condition, he'd lose the title. I never really spoke to him, but you could see his class. And I felt his power. To be perfectly honest, I felt like a lost ball in high grass.

-Rick Farris

Memo Soto . . .

This one is for Frank or Randy. I know that Larry Soto passed away a few years back.
I remember seeing his brother Memo when Frank was inducted into the California Boxing HOF in 2007.
Randy, I know that the Soto brothers worked with you after Mel. Do either of you know whether Memo is still living? Just curious.


-Rick Farris

We were offer a fight with the GREAT Alexis Arguello for Frankie around early 1980, the purse that was offer was $35,000, Jackie McCoy and I didn't want the fight at that time even though Frankie was ranked #1 by RIng magazine and #2 by the WBC, but we didn't want to say no, so we asked for $75,000 knowing that the promoter was going to say no, the promoter said no, I think we save Frankie an ass beating....

Rick Farris wrote:Memo Soto . . .

This one is for Frank or Randy. I know that Larry Soto passed away a few years back.
I remember seeing his brother Memo when Frank was inducted into the California Boxing HOF in 2007.
Randy, I know that the Soto brothers worked with you after Mel. Do either of you know whether Memo is still living? Just curious.


-Rick Farris

As far as I know he is.