Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell
Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History
WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.
Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.
Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”
Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.
“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.”
He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”
Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?”
A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards.”
That was f#cking awkaward to read and I can't tell if it's real or a joke!
I happened to sitting right next to the entryway where the fighters came out for the ring walk. Victor Ortiz comes out and there was mixed booing and cheering, then when the noise dies out some guy screams at him "And this time don't quit" everyone laughs and I know Ortiz heard it. The guy yells it out again and Ortiz looks around. That's going to be the reaction for a while. maybe someday he'll redeem himself. Maybe the booing and catcalls spurred him on.
Less than two minutes ago, Saul Alvarez flattened Carlos Baldomir, leaving him face down and out.
This guy is a throw back.
It looks like I have something to look forward to.
He'll follow Pac as the next exciting super star.
My exact thoughts Rick! He seems to be the real deal.
Randyman wrote:I hooked up with my cousins yesterday at L.A. Live across from the Staples Center. We went to a restaurant, ate and had a few beers and had a great time catching up. Louie's fighter, Antonio Escalante, will be fighting on the undercard tomorrow night. Both of my cousins still look in good shape.
Me and my cousin Louie Burke
Rocky Burke, me and Louie Burke
Jeri, Louie, me and Rocky
Great pictures Randy. Good to see you and Jeri. Even if its just in a polaroid.
I may be getting out to L.A. in the coming months for work. Its in the negotiation stage as of yet though.....
If so,Im contacting my pals here on the thread.
Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell
Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History
WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.
Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.
Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”
Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.
“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.”
He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”
Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?”
A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards.”
That was f#cking awkaward to read and I can't tell if it's real or a joke!
Monica is visiting Milan, Italy with her sisters.
She left a week ago and returns this thursday.
I chose to stay home and work, and it's been a nice little break.
As you can see, I have yet to reach the "kept man" status.
Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell
Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History
WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.
Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.
Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”
Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.
“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.”
He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”
Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?”
A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards.”
Randyman wrote:I hooked up with my cousins yesterday at L.A. Live across from the Staples Center. We went to a restaurant, ate and had a few beers and had a great time catching up. Louie's fighter, Antonio Escalante, will be fighting on the undercard tomorrow night. Both of my cousins still look in good shape.
Me and my cousin Louie Burke
Rocky Burke, me and Louie Burke
Jeri, Louie, me and Rocky
Randy, if Louie's still in town you tell him for me that he was robbed blind against 'White Lightning' Brown. Bad decisions stick in my craw throughout the decades.
Even if Shane Mosley owes his former wife money and doesn't have a big retirement nest egg, his next move should be to retire after struggling in a bout with Sergio Mora, who is only a clubfighter at best. His health is far more important than having a big nest egg. There is a chance that he can make a decent living while holding down a job if he is healthy.
There was a terrific article about Vernon, California in today's edition of the Los Angeles Times. Vernon was an important boxing venue over a span of about two decades during the early part of the Twentieth Century.
At the present time, Vernon has about 1,800 businesses and city revenues of about three hundred million dollars. Yet the municipality has a population of about ninety people. Since all of the homes in Vernon are owned by the city government, an eviction often means that a resident has to move out of the municipality. In other words, the city government apparently can choose its constituents.
Chuck1052 wrote:Even if Shane Mosley owes his former wife money and doesn't have a big retirement nest egg, his next move should be to retire after struggling in a bout with Sergio Mora, who is only a clubfighter at best. His health is far more important than having a big nest egg. There is a chance that he can make a decent living while holding down a job if he is healthy.
- Chuck Johnston
Its no good to have all the money in the world if you can't count it.....
Chuck1052 wrote:There was a terrific article about Vernon, California in today's edition of the Los Angeles Times. Vernon was an important boxing venue over a span of about two decades during the early part of the Twentieth Century.
At the present time, Vernon has about 1,800 businesses and city revenues of about three hundred million dollars. Yet the municipality has a population of about ninety people. Since all of the homes in Vernon are owned by the city government, an eviction often means that a resident has to move out of the municipality. In other words, the city government apparently can choose its constituents.
- Chuck Johnston
L.A. Politicians always do whats best for the citizens of their community.
Chuck1052 wrote:Even if Shane Mosley owes his former wife money and doesn't have a big retirement nest egg, his next move should be to retire after struggling in a bout with Sergio Mora, who is only a clubfighter at best. His health is far more important than having a big nest egg. There is a chance that he can make a decent living while holding down a job if he is healthy.
- Chuck Johnston
Its no good to have all the money in the world if you can't count it.....
You could hire somebody to count it?
But I don't recommend a woman.
Chuck1052 wrote:Even if Shane Mosley owes his former wife money and doesn't have a big retirement nest egg, his next move should be to retire after struggling in a bout with Sergio Mora, who is only a clubfighter at best. His health is far more important than having a big nest egg. There is a chance that he can make a decent living while holding down a job if he is healthy.
- Chuck Johnston
Its no good to have all the money in the world if you can't count it.....
You could hire somebody to count it?
But I don't recommend a woman.
No!, No! Rick, never have ANYBODY count your money. They'll steal it from you if you can't count it yourself....... :(
Ricky Hatton first showed what he was made of in 1996 when he faced Jurgen Brahmer barely weeks after the big German had starched him inside a round at Blackpool in their junior amateur days. The rematch, in Italy, went the full three rounds, with Hatton conceding an 8-2 decision. It was evidence of the true fighting spirit of a chirpy, chubby teenager from Manchester who would graduate to ABA champion, British champion, world champion at two weights, and one of the most popular figures in the entire history of domestic boxing.
"Hitman" Ricky recently confirmed his retirement from the sport at the relatively young age of 31 but he ducked no-one in a paid career spanning 12 years and defined himself as a relentless aggressor who never lost in this country and, indeed, lost only two of 47 fights altogether – both in the States against true boxing greats.
Inside the ring, Ricky displayed a steel that belied his wisecracks, his open, friendly demeanour, his ability to mix in any walk of life. He began working life as a carpet-fitter, for which he had no aptitude whatsoever, and it was always a case of boxing or bust. That hunger drove Hatton to victory in fights he looked destined to lose against the menacing likes of Jon Thaxton and Eamonn Magee, one of whom ripped a hole in his head, the other who dropped him – hard, both in the first round. Hatton’s penchant for pressure, for body shots, for defying the biggest blows of his opponents and for outlasting them, was never more evident than against Aussie great Kostya Tszyu on the way to the IBF light-welterweight title on a hot night in Manchester in June 2005. Television images of an exhausted, battered Tszyu on his stool before the start of the 12th round remain etched in the memory. Tszyu failed to answer the bell.
Ricky will always be remembered for that, our own Ali-Frazier III, but he shrugged off more cuts to outscore Luis Collazo in a bruising encounter for the WBA welterweight title a year later in the States, where he was never really able to show his best form, although he did crunch Mexican iron man Jose Luis Castillo there with a body shot. However, he was later picked off and stopped by the gifted Floyd Mayweather in Las Vegas in a fight that – for a few heady weeks – brought boxing back to the man in the street.
Ricky, who went in at 43-0 that night, came back with a couple of solid wins at light-welterweight but something seemed to have left him. He was wobbled by Juan Lazcano on the way to a 12-round decision in Manchester in front of an amazing crowd of 55,000 and then returned to the States and took 11 rounds to stop feather-fisted Paulie Malignaggi, but a second Las Vegas superfight saw him smashed in just two rounds by southpaw Filipino freak Manny Pacquiao, a defeat which led to his retirement, a defeat which Ricky has really struggled to live with.
Ricky Hatton was not an all-time great but he is an all-time great British fighter and, right to the end, Hatton proved utterly and completely fearless.
Last edited by bennie on 20 Sep 2010, 08:56, edited 1 time in total.
Chuck1052 wrote:Even if Shane Mosley owes his former wife money and doesn't have a big retirement nest egg, his next move should be to retire after struggling in a bout with Sergio Mora, who is only a clubfighter at best. His health is far more important than having a big nest egg. There is a chance that he can make a decent living while holding down a job if he is healthy.
- Chuck Johnston
Its no good to have all the money in the world if you can't count it.....
You could hire somebody to count it?
But I don't recommend a woman.
As I laid in bed this morning nursing my cold I became ten years old again.
"Your like a kid" Connie said.
"Yes, you see honey, when I watch this old B-Western movies, like the one I'm watching right now. Buster Crabbe and Al St "Fuzzy Jones" John and the bad guy Blackie, I go back to the days when I used to go to the Royal Theater at the corner of Whittier & Atlantic, E.L.A, across the street from the Golden Gate Theater. "Get'em Fuzzy!"
Last edited by kikibalt on 20 Sep 2010, 12:47, edited 1 time in total.
