BoxRec

G0mez wrote:

TheCobra wrote:
The main things I have always felt since about 16 are that I'm an outsider and that I don't actually have the ability to be happy. Maybe it got beat out of me mentally/physically I don't know by the childhood bullying. Who knows what other environmental/genetic factors have a part to play as I guess we each have our own story. I feel it's probably 70% genetic and 30% life factors, as some people could go through similar life events and come out smiling and have a happy outlook.

Plus to meet me you wouldn't know probably even 1% that I had depression, as I guess you become good at being fake happy to mask it.

What's happened in your case, is that you probably get anxiety, wondering if people like you or not etc and that my advice to that is - who give a f*ck what anyone thinks ? that's the scars of bullying during a time when your mind was impressionable in your youth.

It can manifest and lead to anger / general unhappiness, even OCD and bulimia in the worst cases. It's the mind looking inwards towards yourself, like an unhappy parrot plucking it's own feathers out.

You probably need someone to talk it through with mate, it doesn't have to be a professional - let those incidents loose from your mind. Almost like that scene from the Green Mile where he sucks the cancer out of the wife of the warden's body.

Kids and teenagers can be very cruel but I say F*ck bullies and f*ck what people think in general. Be the best version of yourself than a fake smiling copy of everyone else. Amen !

There's 7 billion people on the planet, if a few of them don't like you for who you are, who cares? Better to be around people you like and like you for the person you are, than people who like you for what they think you are.

I always find that a good blowjob lifts my mood no end.

Do you spit or swallow force Fraser ??

Hopefully my old mate and boxrec'er damien hucker reads this thread.

some wise words have been said on here.

Damien has really had some desperately low times over the last year or so, although he does appear to have perked up slightly the last couple of times ive spoken to him.

expe wrote:

G0mez wrote:

TheCobra wrote:
The main things I have always felt since about 16 are that I'm an outsider and that I don't actually have the ability to be happy. Maybe it got beat out of me mentally/physically I don't know by the childhood bullying. Who knows what other environmental/genetic factors have a part to play as I guess we each have our own story. I feel it's probably 70% genetic and 30% life factors, as some people could go through similar life events and come out smiling and have a happy outlook.

Plus to meet me you wouldn't know probably even 1% that I had depression, as I guess you become good at being fake happy to mask it.

What's happened in your case, is that you probably get anxiety, wondering if people like you or not etc and that my advice to that is - who give a f*ck what anyone thinks ? that's the scars of bullying during a time when your mind was impressionable in your youth.

It can manifest and lead to anger / general unhappiness, even OCD and bulimia in the worst cases. It's the mind looking inwards towards yourself, like an unhappy parrot plucking it's own feathers out.

You probably need someone to talk it through with mate, it doesn't have to be a professional - let those incidents loose from your mind. Almost like that scene from the Green Mile where he sucks the cancer out of the wife of the warden's body.

Kids and teenagers can be very cruel but I say F*ck bullies and f*ck what people think in general. Be the best version of yourself than a fake smiling copy of everyone else. Amen !

There's 7 billion people on the planet, if a few of them don't like you for who you are, who cares? Better to be around people you like and like you for the person you are, than people who like you for what they think you are.

Guys, please be wary - you're falling into the trap of being too logical and rational about severe depression.

The number of unhelpful times I've heard some of the following: "hey it's not that bad!" "Things could be a lot worse!" "Just pull yourself together" "who cares what people think" "it'll be ok" "you've just looking at it the wrong way" "I remember when I was depressed when I broke up with my girlfriend but then I thought" etc etc. Well meaning but ultimately misunderstanding and not helpful.

Having said that I'm not sure what the best thing is to say. Actually it's probable just listening a bit, showing some humanity and kindness. That helps a bit. Advice? Not much to be said as there is a certain irrationalism in depression.

hurlock wrote:Do you spit or swallow force Fraser ??

Depends how much they pay me

Deleted

Have a look at this; it explains it quite well IMHO -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

reggaereggae wrote:

forcefraser wrote:

hurlock wrote:Do you spit or swallow force Fraser ??

Depends how much they pay me

Right. And fvck you both for demeaning a serious thread about a serious problem.

Shame on them both.

hurlock wrote:Everyone suffers depression/stress & it can manifest & take out the strongest!!
I suffer from downers feeling low then I have mad highs almost bi polarish at times.you just have to see it as a cloud above your head that moves along eventually.i was fine in my teens & early twentys until a few things happened in my personal life which I think emotionally scarred me.

Kellie Maloney?

reggaereggae wrote:

forcefraser wrote:

hurlock wrote:Do you spit or swallow force Fraser ??

Depends how much they pay me

Right. And fvck you both for demeaning a serious thread about a serious problem.

I´m not demeaning the thread. Depression is a serious illness and one that is overlooked in society. However, a light hearted comment about a good blowjob always improving my mood, should be seen as just that, a light hearted comment. Not a slight on the subject of depression.

Hurlock`s response to my comment was again in good humour, a natural response.

I guess next time I`d be better off posting nothing. I`m tempted to blame George groves, but a part of me is leaning towards blaming Hurlock

On the issue of depression, I will say this, positive thinking brings it`s own rewards. That`s why cognitive therapy and not pills is the most effective treatment.

I wish the best to anyone who suffers with this. I've known too many people that have suffered with it and left us early.

I'd give anything to go back and be able to try and help them so would always encourage people to talk. Even just opening up on here can be good

What happened to Dean is beyond belief for an outsider, I read he stopped taking his meds awhile before, as he didn't want to be reliant on them. It's sad someone like his doc didn't manage to persuade him to go back on them I guess...maybe they weren't really, truly helping, just managing to keep him afloat.

I've got several close friends who suffer and have been on the meds for years, I've always had it myself, but mild compared to people like Dean and others on this thread - though I took that online test the other day and it told me I needed to go see my doc !

Don't think I do at the mo, as I've always self medicated, if you know what I mean.

Doctors can only do so much - Someone who is clinically depressed isn't likely to take advice and they're even more likely to shut themselves off and not do what most people would consider is in their own best interests.

Chasing someone down who doesn't want to attend surgery and take meds or attend therapy sessions or even reply to letters (they do send them!) - That's into the realms of social work.

His doctor is probably more upset than most but short of tracking him down and force feeding him tablets, there's not a huge amount he could do. Besides, taking tablets might not necessarily be the "best" solution for him as it's not treating the root cause of the problem, but may alleviate some of the overall problem.

Depressives aren't logical when they're at their lowest.

Reggae reggae stop being a fish! Fraser put in his two pence making it a joke & I spun it on him with my roar witty nature. I've sufferd depression and got very ill one time & turnt into a wreck & I'm abit embarrassed to go into detail about it as I'm fine now &!your going on about an ex girlfriend!! Man up
& get a brass!

hurlock wrote:Do you spit or swallow force Fraser ??

very good

Though it is a very serious thread I think it's good to laugh as well.

hurlock wrote:Reggae reggae stop being a fish! Fraser put in his two pence making it a joke & I spun it on him with my roar witty nature. I've sufferd depression and got very ill one time & turnt into a wreck & I'm abit embarrassed to go into detail about it as I'm fine now &!your going on about an ex girlfriend!! Man up
& get a brass!

I have no idea what any of that means?

orbtastic wrote:Doctors can only do so much - Someone who is clinically depressed isn't likely to take advice and they're even more likely to shut themselves off and not do what most people would consider is in their own best interests.

Chasing someone down who doesn't want to attend surgery and take meds or attend therapy sessions or even reply to letters (they do send them!) - That's into the realms of social work.

His doctor is probably more upset than most but short of tracking him down and force feeding him tablets, there's not a huge amount he could do. Besides, taking tablets might not necessarily be the "best" solution for him as it's not treating the root cause of the problem, but may alleviate some of the overall problem.

Depressives aren't logical when they're at their lowest.

A great description on the frustration of caring for someone with depression, if you love them multiply that by a hundred.

just a point to note..... the medications that are prescribed for depression work well but take time to click in, the worst part can be coming off the medication, especially if you try to 'cold turkey' it. the symptoms become worse than the initial depression that led to being on the tablets in the first place. Sounds like Dean fell into this trap.

For the record, I have had a really bad last year with my dads illness and ultimate death, I struggled to prioritise normal day to0 day duties at home and work, I became paranoid....... I held my hands up and realised I needed help, went to my GP, had about 6 weeks off work, started counselling sessions last Oct (about 2 left to go). got some zopiclone sleeping tabs off the quack to cover me for a month, and im feeling much better now. back to work, life normal etc. Im actually quite proud of myself for holding my hands up as im a hard minded 'coper' normally.

Just to note tablets are not the only available solution. RECOGNISE YOU ARE STRUGGLING, AND SPEAK TO SOMEONE...... IT WORKED FOR ME. The doctor found it peculiar that, with my forces history, bosnia war etc, picking up bits of dead colleagues, watching others be operated on...... I show no signs of PTSD. But its all horses for courses I guess.

Never be selfish enough not to ask for help if you need it guys, get counselling and 'open up' its raw at first but god it feels good to share it.

Some people can't afford counselling etc. & the debt of it becomes another worry. My sister takes medication for depression but is drinking quite a lot & not coping well. I think the tablets ain't no hood as most suicide cases have them meds in the autopsy.
How did you ween off?? Apparently my sister has a chemical imbalance??

lol, it's free on the NHS.

I will caveat that and say that if you've got a referral to mental health from your GP and have filled out the same form numerous times where you tick the "yes I think about death/killing myself" box, you will get immediate referral for [free] counselling.

If you've got some sort of personality disorder and/or think you're a bit fat or your dad didn't love you, you may not get immediate referral for counselling as you're not deemed a high risk. You should still get counselling though, just not quickly.

I dated someone who was massively bi-polar and OCD, she was offered counselling via the NHS after an "episode" but long-term (she needed more than a couple of sessions) she had to pay, well work ended up paying.

Nhs funded mine.

I had 2 heart attacks , got took in and had a triple by pass ,, retired straight away , and started putting on weight ,, Got to the stage i put on 23 kilo thats 50 pounds . . Started moping around the house , sleeping , tele , and computer , would'nt even bother getting dressed .. most days , felt horrible .

Went to the docs , he said your depressed , take some medication ,, he prescribed these tablets , they made me feel shite , and nervy and edgy all the time . . So i through them in the bin ,

Wife was getting worried she's encouraging me to go back to the docs get some differnt meds and sort it out , i could'nt be bothered . A mate of 30 years , in fact i started training him 30 years ago , and weve remained close mates since , well he came into town and was staying with us for a week . . My missis must of been telling him i was depressed , , next morning he said , Ok ya fat bastard , , your coming out with me , where i said, for a walk was his answer ..

He looked at me and said YOUR NOT DEPRESSED ,,, your FACKING BORED , ,, anyway every morning , we went for a walk ,, then we went to my old gym at night ,, we put the gloves on and sparred a few rounds , and i had a ball , when he went home i carried on with the excercise , got my diabetes under control again , lost 15 kilo ,, only 8 more to go , and i feel better than i've felt in years ,, Even thinking of going back to work

For some its a seroius desease , depresion is a killer , but i cannot help but wonder if in a lot of cases , the medication is to easily given out and a big contributing factor , For me the best medication was a bit of tough love from a good mate

Course i do think the 2 heart attacks , the triple by pass , and my diabetes spiraling out of control because of the weight gain, probably kicked it off , but the excercise , losing weight ,, and having fun in the gym certainly helped me more than medication

All great posts here.

I'm OCD in every area of my life.

I cannot make a cuppa without completely emptying the kettle and putting fresh water in - and my world falls apart if the TV volume is not on an even number. Odd socks? that equals terrible tragedy happening if i set foot out the door in them.

I'm not as bad as Beckham though, he has all of his Pot noodles facing front or he loses his sh*t completely. That's too far even for me.

Good to read a forthright approach to the illness, taking control of it. Hopefully that is a result of the awareness level being raised in recent years.

I think we are only just scraping the surface in relation to how the brain works. I was reading how environmental factors affect behaviour-so for example when lead pollution was very high due to car exhausts this strongly correlates to high levels of crime and violence. We are only now starting to understand how plastic might do the same.

Also evolution just cannot cope with the technological changes in the last 100 years. I dont think young men are designed to be sitting in call centres-they should be active-I also think we are all tuned into worry-our jobs are much more insecure, we worry about mortgages, loans, we have 24 hour news coming to us from all sources.

The evidence is that women are coping with these changes much better than men.