- Yuzos all knows how I loves me my loving look at the championship qualities of Mr. “Ain’t Never Gonna Be Beat By A White Boy” Popkins, a career of sentimental waltzes and whoopsies sandwiched with oopsie-poopsies.
He of wasted days and wasted nights interrupted by hard time. Out and about as badder than Bad Leroy Brown, so badder takes up boxing and gets whooped a new one. Many greats take early losses, but soon finds he can skinnyize down to middle as he racks up knockovers over the usual grade D journeymen, but then Glory be Manna from Heaven vs growing legend of Roy Jones handed to him on a platter with one wing injured. Woe be to he as Roy whoops him one handed, so back of the line again for Popkins against D level journeys, but then rascally DKing comes a’courtin’ with a gimmee title bout in Uruguay against nobody.
Bingo, easy money, but oops, whooped a new one by Mercado after being knocked down twice. King salvages the day with a controversial draw, his M/O for selling the rematch now in Popkins land. Decent start til Mercado extracts payback, so clinch him hard enough to cause the ref to TKO Mercado for being clinched. Only in boxing, and worse, the ref admits he blew the call when confronted with the vid, but no matter monkey shines, Popkins now King’s in house boy for life!
Defends his IBF scrap against noname journeys, but JDJackson in his last gasps a good scalp, and then an unproven Glen Johnson and so on improves his studliness, but whoopsie, little Banty Mill’s Lane hurls him through the ropes against Robert Allen to land 12’ out of the ring and the bawlin’ and squalin’ commences, enough for an NC ruling. Sweet deal if you can git it.
A few minor contenders later, the post 911 Tito scrap that earns him the respect he lacked, so Lou Dibella signs him to a big money deal. The first two fights are against Joe Calzaghe in England and the Roy Jones rematch, and ol’ Pops balks, walking out of his contract to lose a $2mil civil suit by Dibella. How can he ever pay it fighting the journeys with so much of his peanuts purses being seized? Especially after losing the Joppy bet when he couldn’t knock him out, a financial disaster!
Ahhhh, sweet serendipity when Oscar signs him and gives him a legit payday. Alas, soon Jermain Taylor comes a’callin’ and whoops him out of middle into LH where he catches a bloated, 250 lb Hollywoodized Tarver. After butting Winky into submission, white boy Calzaghe comes a’callin’ and bursts him into kicked cur squeals as he scrambles the canvas on all fours with his protector pulled up. Later he tries the same tactic as Joe dry humps him.
Makes a comeback against 1st stage Alky Pavlik infected with a life threatening staph infection when putting his hand through a window after winning the title from Taylor. He’s on a roll again, right, until he hooks up the Jones rematch where he is soon bawlin’ like a titty suck baby. Sure am happy he weren’t my daddy!
Then KDed twice by Pascal and clowned to squeak out a Mercardo draw again before winning the rematch that I refused to watch after his stinker in the first. Then after being schooled by Dawson, he launches a flying knee into privates, failing when Dawson bend to intercept him, shucking his bodyweight off that flies Pops across the ring squalin’ about his shoulder. Ref rules TKO, but Cali Oscar gets Cali commish to overrule to NC.
So, bawling and squalin’ has been paying dividends…>>>monkey biz gets whooped by Kov, and then picks white boy journeyman NY union construction worker with the everyday name of Joe Smith to get his mojo back, and mission accomplished! Knocked out of the ring onto the floor and immediately starts with the squalin’, his last act in the ring…The End…C’est la vie…Sissified for life!
Face it boyz, your boy ain't never gonna face Golovkin, cuz if he duz, he's gonna be sissy all over again.