BoxRec

Don't ever, ever, ever be tempted to use these useless fuckwits, they're a fornicating shambles.

If you're ever tempted by their cheap introductory offer, then don't be, I've been without an internet connection for 10 days now, as my username and password suddenly stopped working inxeplicably.

After an assortment of calls to call centres in New Delhi, Bangalore, Mumbai and Pontyprydd costing me an arm and a leg, and being informed that it is due to faulty equipment at my end, and wasting a good 1.5 hours on the subject, I ask them if my line is active, and they tell me that no, it has been seized, though nobody knows why, or when, or when it will come back on.....great service.

Don't be fooled, as I will be getting a new ISP as soon as possible in the new year and will not be paying this useless crock of shit another penny.

Merry Christmas!!

Don`t know what ISP your looking to get but the one I just chose is The Utility Warehouse, 512mb+an xtra512mb till June 2005, unlimited downloads, free conections and modem, £19.99 a month.
worth a look.

That's exactly the thinking behind me going with Tiscali. Free installation, 2 free modems, filters, the lot, 25 quid a month for a 3megabit line, unlimited upload and download, sounds great....

....until something stops working, then you're fucked, becaused their technical support sucks balls, their customer services don't know a thing, and nobody knows what the other is saying.

You should really try metronet. (ADSL over BT)
http://metronet.co.uk/

512K line, my last bill was £12.48 for the month!

They are techies. No hand holding. You can tell the kind of company they are when you read the FAQ. It's pay as you go.
The first 200MB free. The rest you pay 0.25p per MB.
I used about 500MB this month, so paid about 75p on the metered stuff.

There is a cap on how much you pay (£22.75) (but not how much you download).
However, if you are a heavy user (downloading large music files and..ahem..movies) then avoid as you will find cheaper providers.

I know about 5 people on it, and they are having no problems.

Metronet are good becuase: It's there core business and they know what they are doing.

I pay AOL £34.99 for there "premier" service but it's always cutting off and going slow...makes me wonder why i bother

NTL Letter
An Open Letter to NTL

Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th September 2002, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.

During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office. My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive.

When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived ... a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%...these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...) and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.

Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were crap, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

I use Pipex as BT were an utter disgrace in all departments. Only fault with Pipex is they fucked up my billing one month, service is fine.

Wales wrote:NTL Letter
An Open Letter to NTL

Old one but amusing nonetheless.

Strange. I was going to recommend NTL. They've been superb with me. The connection has only ever failed once, and that was when the graphics card in my pc burnt out and took almost everything with it, so that was hardly their fault. They were also very quick to come out and replace the router and cables that were damaged on that occasion. Otherwise, there's not even been so much as a blip in the service.

It's very rare that it slows down much. And I've found the helpline staff to be...well...helpful. It's probably a little expensive though, but it's been well worth the extra.

I use Homechoice - Digital TV and Broadband internet through your phone line and have to say I have never had a problem at all. The speed and reliability are fantastic and it means you can have Sky Sports etc without a dish which is a big problem where I live. Highly recommended, and their customer service is brilliant.

This site is useful if you're thinking of changing providers....

http://www.adslguide.org.uk/

I know it's the most annoying thing in the world mate, but what the hell, I'll be a pudendum :

mickeybeard wrote: Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:53 pm
If you are going to join the rest of civilisation I'd steer clear of Tiscali mate. We had them at work and they're fornicating bollocks. We've moved to Demon now, who are merely very, very bad. If you're moving to somewhere with cable access, get that. Then you're bandwidth won't vanish as more people in your area sign up.

Anyway, sorry to hear you're having trouble. If you can get cable, get it. I've heard some people have problems, but most people I know on Blueyonder are laughing. Not the cheapest, but quick and reliable.

NTL are assholes. I was without connection for about two weeks. Phoned about ten times and waited all day for someone to come out, he never did.

Well, I'm currently getting 964 Kbps for my £25 a month, and I've never been without a connection for more than a couple of hours, but that's Blueyonder.

I wouldn't recommend BT Broadband either, expensive and I bought primarily so I could keep me old e-mail address. Wrong, I had to slightly modify them.

The help desk is awful, not being racist but it really is a job to understand the english of some of the workers there and at 50 pence a minute quite often I have to put the phone down to to see if I can have someone who can speak a bit more clearly the next time.

My main problem has been trying to connect two computers to the same account in different rooms. Its fine if you have an earthnet port in the computer, but I haven't. Not only that but the cable wouldn't be long enough to fit to the other computer. When I signed up I was ASSURED that this wouldn't be a problem. However, still the internet connected to only one computer.

I have phoned and e-mailed them for advise on this and all I have is an automatic response. I have (through my own bat) found out what I need to have (a wireless hub and network card), but I haven't been able to connect it up (not sure what I am doing wrong). Tried to phone BT, they couldn't help.

So don't go there either.

James, read the small print with these Broadband services, most are a minimum of a 12 month contract.

I don't give a fornicate, they can take me to court for it, I'm not paying for a service I cannot use.

How on earth are these providers allowed to tie people into contracts like that, and get away with it when their service proves completely inadequate.

It's like renting a flat for 6 months, and then 3 months into your contract, the landlord removes three of the outside walls and all the floors to sell as scrap, and then being told you can't move out.