Off topic - new hulk film review, the guardian

[Wales]

http://film.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/C ... 42,00.html



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"Hulk. Smash!" Yes. Hulk. Smash. Yes. Smash. Big Hulk smash. Smash cars. Buildings. Army tanks. Hulk not just smash. Hulk also go rarrr! Then smash again. Smash important, obviously. Smash Hulk's USP. What Hulk smash most? Hulk smash all hope of interesting time in cinema. Hulk take all effort of cinema, effort getting babysitter, effort finding parking, and Hulk put great green fist right through it. Hulk crush all hopes of entertainment. Hulk in boring film. Film co-written by star. Edward Norton. Norton in it. Norton write it. Norton not need gamma-radiation poisoning to get big head. Thing is: Hulk head weirdly small. Compared with rest of big green body.

Hulk not scary. Hulk look like Shrek. Wait. Critic have ... second thought. Hulk look like Shrek when Shrek turn handsome, in Shrek 2. Like Gordon Brown. Hulk rubbish. Hulk not look powerful. Especially when Hulk do jumpy bouncy floaty thing. Over New York buildings. Then Hulk look wussy. Big. Yet wussy. Not good combination.
Stan Lee have big cameo. Stan Lee keen on self. Previously Stan Lee just glimpsed. Now Stan in it for 30 seconds. Or more. Stan clearly on roll. Stan even give Robert Downey Jr cameo. As Iron Man. This very irritating. Audience supposed to be excited. Audience nod off. Long ago.

Idea is. Dr Bruce Banner - on run. Keep anger under control. Banner hope not turn into Hulk. Banner live .... in Brazilian slum. Work in factory. Total babe there fancy Banner. Banner quite fancy babe. But Banner not make move. Babe in film to keep guys interested. Until Banner's girlfriend Liv Tyler come into action later. Tyler not mind Hulk thing. Hulk remind her of dad. Steven Tyler. Possibly. Much location work. Overhead shots. Of slums. City of God vibe intended. But this rubbish. Like everything else.

Tim Roth come on. As evil soldier. Fighting Hulk personal for him. Roth typical evil Brit. Roth supposedly working for US army. Yet Roth Brit. Critic annoyed by stereotyping. Roth get injected with serum. Become Hulky supervillain. Smash cars. Tanks. Only with no trousers. Roth groin area ambiguous. Groin area look lumpy. Bumpy. Perhaps odd penis. Perhaps odd trousers. Critic ... not sure.

Same old story. Superhero movie give superhero mirror-image antagonist. Like in Spider-Man 3. Idea rubbish in Spider-Man 3. Idea rubbish here. Hulk versus humanity important thing. Cancelled out here. Basic problem ... critic not believe Hulk angry. Hulk just roar. It not look convincing. Not truly seem angry. Critic think about this. Critic decide why. It because Hulk not swear. Hulk just say: "Hulk. Smash" etc. If Hulk shout C-word ... different matter. Then Hulk look angry. Sound angry. Not here. Hulk genteel.

Critic remember Ang Lee version. Ang Lee version slagged off. Yet rubbish new Hulk film make that look like Citizen Kane. Critic exit cinema miffed. Film take away two hours of critic's life. Critic not get time back. Ever. Rarrrrr.

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Scratch that off the list of films to see.

[Poncey]

Any film with Ed Norton in where he doesn't want to be there, but is stuck in a studio contract (The Italian Job and The Score) should be avoided. This is the third.

[Wales]

So he's starred and directed? Shame, as I think he's a superb actor.

Another shame is that james Mcelvoy <sp> is in that daft new fiolm, although I'd star in thomas the tank if I got to kop off with Angelina JOlie.

[Poncey]

Yeah, I thought Wanted looked wank when I saw the trailer last night. Why does Morgan Freeman keep starring in action tat?!

[Poncey]

Hancock might buck that trend. Here's hoping anyway.

[Autobarn]

Norton may be a good actor but he's in some crap. RED DRAGON being the worst. The film is nothing compared to MANHUNTER (which it's a remaek of) and Norton lacks the intensity of prime William Peterson.

[Poncey]

I'm in a minority as I preferred Red Dragon. I found Manhunter alittle too dated and Cox isn't as good as Lector.

[Twinkle Toes]

Apparantly 70 minutes of movie was left on the cutting room floor - I expect the Blu-Ray uncut release to be a different beast altogether.

If you can wait that long :)

[Mario]

I'm off to see this one tomorrow so i'll let you guys know how bad it is. I tend not to take too much notice of reviews though, even less now after i read how good the awful 'Be Kind Rewind' was going to be!

Anyway, when you go to see a film like The Incredible Hulk you don't expect Oscar winning storylines and performances. If there's lots of CGI smashing the city up and Ed Norton getting angry, turning green, and going on the rampage for an hour and a half i'll be happy.

[black panther]

I'm a big fan of comicbook superheros as I watched a lot of them as a kid but I cant stand the live action films - batman begins was the exception. I'm yet to see Ironman so I may check that one out. But what do expect with the incredible Hulk - I mean the film is gonna really be all about the special effects and fight scenes. You can't really expect a deep storyline. For those of you who are into anime, Leonardo Dicaprio is co-producing a live action version of AKIRA. It follows the manga(comicbook) rather than the animated version and is two parts to be released next year. Looking forward to that but I'm praying they dont make a cock-up of it and it turns out something like Street Fighter I never trust the critics though - they praised ALI which I personally thought was bollocks - rather watch a re-run and When we were Kings.

[Slapsie Maxie]

Of course, the Ang Lee version did prompt one of the funniest lines in any film review ever

Mark Kermode on The Hulk

"Ang Lee, you wont like me if I'm Ang Lee"

easily the best film critic out there. Listen to the podcasts on the BBC. His one of POTC 3 is hysterical and I shall never look at Orlando Bland and Ikea Knightly in the same way ever again

Slapsie

[Captain Hook]

No one wants an Oscar winner but Super hero films should not be pumped out half-arsed in the knowledge that the fanbase will buy tickets, DVDs and spin-offs.

The film will live or die on the basis of the CGI. The Star Wars prequels were terrible, like watching a computer game, a computer game with a terrible plot.

Hopefully this film gets the CGI right. I will watch it as it has the greatest actor of all time, William Hurt, in the mix.

'Batman Begins' raised the bar for this type of film. Showing you can make a decent film based on a comic character.

William Hurt was doing well until he appeared in that shite The Village, now he is not in the top 10 mate!


http://thedaytoday.northwalesblogs.co.uk/

[Autobarn]

I'm in a minority as I preferred Red Dragon. I found Manhunter alittle too dated and Cox isn't as good as Lector.

Cox is way better, IMO. Much more icy, sinsiter and understated. After SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, Anthony Hopkins just became a complete ham in the wise cracking Freddy Kruger mold.

[E]

How could any adult want to see a film about a man who goes green and muscular when he's angry.

Pathetic - for kids and kids only

[Captain Hook]

How could any adult want to see a film about a man who goes green and muscular when he's angry.

Pathetic - for kids and kids only

You miserable sod! That's like saying:

"Why would anyone want to watch twenty two men kick a bag of air around?"



"Why would anyone want to watch two blokes punch each other?"

[E]

How could any adult want to see a film about a man who goes green and muscular when he's angry.

Pathetic - for kids and kids only

You miserable sod! That's like saying:

"Why would anyone want to watch twenty two men kick a bag of air around?"



"Why would anyone want to watch two blokes punch each other?"

Well the difference is that HULK is fiction, and simplistic one at that

[Autobarn]

I used to read comic books but then I sort of grew up and got into novels instead.

However, there are some fantastic comics/graphic novels out there, like Watchmen, Dark Knight Returns, Grant Morrison's X-Men, whatever it was called.

The problem is when mainstream comics just fall into the same format of overmuscled blokes just having fights and saving the world every two weeks. The odd time that you get a writer and artist who fit together well is often short-lived so one comic is never worth sticking with.

Novels are usually better. There was a good comic I was reading around 2002 or 2003, something like The Scum, or The Muck, some quality adult science fiction. I only ended up getting the first couple of issues though.

[Wales]

How could any adult want to see a film about a man who goes green and muscular when he's angry.

Pathetic - for kids and kids only

You miserable sod! That's like saying:

"Why would anyone want to watch twenty two men kick a bag of air around?"



"Why would anyone want to watch two blokes punch each other?"

Well the difference is that HULK is fiction, and simplistic one at that

You must have a shit range of films if you dont like fiction.

[Maelstrom]

The way that review was written could have meant the writer looking a complete idiot, but I think they pulled it off quite well!