Following Ricky Hatton's Career Is Like Tantric Sex.

MightyWarrior · Post by **MightyWarrior** » 14 Apr 2004, 07:31

For the un-enlightened ones among you, Tantric sex is where you and your partner achieve an ecstatic union

by making love until you are on the verge of orgasm, then stopping, just before you reach a climax.

This can continue nightly/daily for two or three weeks ( or even months for more advanced cocksmiths ) building up to a climax that can best be described as a rocket to the moon.

I find following Hatton’s career to be very similar: a very slow, prolonged build up with the promise of exciting fights “just around the corner”, only to be told a few weeks before that instead of a “defining fight” we’re getting yet another marking time fight ( but the next one will be the BIG ONE etc ).
Plus lots of stiffs that go down prematurely.

Onto June 5th and Ye Olde Enemy, TBA, looms again.
Who will it be this time?! The excitement builds…..Gatti? Mitchell? Harris? A hillbilly from South Dakota?

In case you’re wondering about my tantric sex knowledge, I had a girlfriend who introduced me to “The Tantric Path” – we practiced The Method for two months, then she dumped me before I’d reached orgasm.

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 07:33

"In case you’re wondering about my tantric sex knowledge, I had a girlfriend who introduced me to “The Tantric Path” – we practiced The Method for two months, then she dumped me before I’d reached orgasm.
What a waste of time."

haha brilliant

Kilburn · Post by **Kilburn** » 14 Apr 2004, 07:42

Bugger that. I'm irritable enough as it is without all that sexual frustration.

Priff · Post by **Priff** » 14 Apr 2004, 07:49

Well, this thread's title wins "Analogy of the Week" in my book.

Add Joe Calzaghe's career to the list also.

knockout · Post by **knockout** » 14 Apr 2004, 09:10

this sexual analogy can be used with reference to the career of Olympian David Reid....
David Reids career is like giving yourself a hand job... it starts off with great speed and acclaim but is over far too quickly leaving you thinking about what could have been.....

REAL_DEAL · Post by **REAL_DEAL** » 14 Apr 2004, 09:36

knockout wrote:this sexual analogy can be used with reference to the career of Olympian David Reid....
David Reids career is like giving yourself a hand job... it starts off with great speed and acclaim but is over far too quickly leaving you thinking about what could have been.....

not everyone is like you Matt, some of us can last the distance

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 14 Apr 2004, 09:58

Watching a Sven Ottke's fight is like bringing a fat ugly woman back to your flat.

You try your best to knock one out quickly, but it always ends up going on far too long, becoming tedious very early on, no climax and eventually you lose interest altogether and just fall asleep on the sofa.

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 10:00

jamesmcdonnell wrote:Watching a Sven Ottke's fight is like bringing a fat ugly woman back to your flat.

You try your best to knock one out quickly, but it always ends up going on far too long, becoming tedious very early on, no climax and eventually you lose interest altogether and just fall asleep on the sofa.

hmm me thinks you know too much! Obviously a man of experience haha

meself I have to beat off the Selma Hayeck lookalikes off with a shitty stick.
yeah right

kevo · Post by **kevo** » 14 Apr 2004, 11:31

J wrote:
jamesmcdonnell wrote:Watching a Sven Ottke's fight is like bringing a fat ugly woman back to your flat.

You try your best to knock one out quickly, but it always ends up going on far too long, becoming tedious very early on, no climax and eventually you lose interest altogether and just fall asleep on the sofa.
hmm me thinks you know too much! Obviously a man of experience haha

Heeey! Fat bitches need loving too!!

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 11:35

Kevo wrote:
J wrote:
jamesmcdonnell wrote:Watching a Sven Ottke's fight is like bringing a fat ugly woman back to your flat.

You try your best to knock one out quickly, but it always ends up going on far too long, becoming tedious very early on, no climax and eventually you lose interest altogether and just fall asleep on the sofa.
hmm me thinks you know too much! Obviously a man of experience haha
Heeey! Fat bitches need loving too!!

i know i gave em up for lent , doh!

kevo · Post by **kevo** » 14 Apr 2004, 11:37

J wrote:
Kevo wrote:
J wrote: hmm me thinks you know too much! Obviously a man of experience haha
Heeey! Fat bitches need loving too!!
i know i gave em up for lent , doh!

MightyWarrior · Post by **MightyWarrior** » 14 Apr 2004, 11:40

Watching a Johnny Nelson fight is like going to a strip club - plenty of dancing, no actual contact and you're left wondering why the hell you bothered in the first place.

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 11:49

poor Johnny you have to admire his professionalism tho, just find it rather ironic he is known as "the entertainer".

Havin said that I have alot of admiration for him being in such good shape for so long.

Yeah strip clubs never have got em to be honest, went up to newcastle not so long ago on a stag it was jack the rippers 24-7 all weekend.

After a while Im like for gods sake lets go to a club where you can have a chance of pulling the women.

Suppose difference is they are all married up, I aint.

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:03

I had a load of mates who were working in the city, who used to go to Secrets in Holborn, they used to spend at least a grand a night on coke, booze and strippers, whipping themselves up into a frenzy

I wasn't in to it, but got talked into coming along for a mates B'day.

I got chatting to this really amazingly beautiful girl in there, I told her I only had 20 quid in my pocket and that if she wanted to make some money, she'd be better off talking to someone else.

I chatted to her for about 4 hours, gave her my number....my mates all laughed at me for being a pussy.

However, a week later when I was nuts deep in a beautiful and sexy 20 year old half puerto-rican half jamaican girl, their laughter turned to the sound of choking on bile...

The Moral is, why pay a grand for a look, when you can cop a feel for nowt, if your lucks in.

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 12:08

exactly.
Just dont get it. Never have never will. Dont get me wrong dont mind going from time to time but this was like as soon as we got to Newcastle straight out strippers, then more strippers back to hotel up and out by midday, ropey strippers in south shields followed by classy stippers at for your eyes only.

Was boring as all hell after the first night.

and i got mugged at syringe point wandering round the friggin streets lost cos I was pissed and had enough of the jack the rippers. Great weekend not.
My life's never dull tho.

Kilburn · Post by **Kilburn** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:11

I've been to a strip bar once - never again. Some guys from work convinced me to go with them one friday night and after 5 minutes of being in there with those wenches I got accused of being the "arsehole of the night" because I wouldn't put a £1 in their grubby little pot.

I thought the idea with these places was that the women were prettier and had fitter bodies than your Mrs? I was bloody glad to get back home.

J · Post by J » 14 Apr 2004, 12:15

jeez the pound in the pot jobs are a bit ropey tho mate but at least they are treated as a larf, i personally would rather go there than some rip off joint where the bird wants 20 quid to make out she is your woman for 5 mins.
Complete shit.
Id rather go to a club either way and talk to real people.
I do hope my other half never gets access to my pc and reads this.
I could end up a eunoch.

knockout · Post by **knockout** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:33

on the stripper note (sort of)
one thing that really pisses me off at boxing shows is when the pissed up dick heads give more cheers for the freakin ring card girl than the boxers.....I mean what the fcuk is all that about???? stay at home and watch a porno if thats what you wanna see....

Kilburn · Post by **Kilburn** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:42

And some of those girls are rough as a badgers arse.

A "fit" woman to me has to train regularly in some kind of excersise, not just nibble on rice cakes and lettuce all day while sitting on her saggy buttocks.

knockout · Post by **knockout** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:49

Kilburn wrote:And some of those girls are rough as a badgers arse.

A "fit" woman to me has to train regularly in some kind of excersise, not just nibble on rice cakes and lettuce all day while sitting on her saggy buttocks.

most of those "fit" strippers stay slim cause they eat fcuk all, do a kilo of coke a week and smoke 40 cigs a day....

bennie · Post by **bennie** » 14 Apr 2004, 12:53

MightyWarrior wrote:This can continue nightly/daily for two or three weeks ( or even months for more advanced cocksmiths ) building up to a climax that can best be described as a rocket to the moon.

Beautiful.

bigynzing · Post by **bigynzing** » 14 Apr 2004, 16:15

J wrote:
and i got mugged at syringe point wandering round the friggin streets lost cos I was pissed and had enough of the jack the rippers. Great weekend not.
My life's never dull tho.

Now thats what i call a night in the "toon"

Fuckin smack heads...give the region a bad name......

What the fornicate were you doing in Shields...it`s full of slappers

If your ever in the north east try and get to Yarm...its full of posh lasses.......its where i met my girlfriend,,,,they love a bit of rough they do.

gensu3k1 · Post by **gensu3k1** » 14 Apr 2004, 16:21

Tantric sex is sex without ejaculation, not without orgasm.

Just had to get that out there.

adamiw · Post by **adamiw** » 14 Apr 2004, 16:25

gensu3k1 wrote:Tantric sex is sex without ejaculation, not without orgasm.

Just had to get that out there.

REAL_DEAL · Post by **REAL_DEAL** » 14 Apr 2004, 16:26

adamiw wrote:
gensu3k1 wrote:Tantric sex is sex without ejaculation, not without orgasm.

Just had to get that out there.

learn something every day

Following Ricky Hatton's Career Is Like Tantric Sex.

Following Ricky Hatton's Career Is Like Tantric Sex.

Re: Following Ricky Hatton's Career Is Like Tantric Sex.