OFF TOPIC: Mark Wlliams just made a 147 at the Crucible.

J · Post by J » 21 Apr 2005, 04:24

Graham Brett wrote:
J wrote:generally it isnt though.

wheras most people who play pool snooker and daryts would do so in pub with alcohol and those who smoke a fag.

most people who play football do not play with a beer in hand and a fag on.
How many PUBS do you know with a snooker table?

there loads of snooker halls that let you drink son.

jomothepure · Post by **jomothepure** » 21 Apr 2005, 04:45

jamesmcdonnell wrote:Yes, paying close attention to the difference between the pink ones and the red ones...."hang on, is that one red or pink, fornicate it, I'm going for a six, watch out beefy here I......
"GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh"

Read a great story in loaded once.

Local rugby team were preparing to face some visitors, who had a reputation for being really hard tackling dirty bastards, so they decided to give them a taste of their own medicine and really go at the bastards.

The captain gets them fired up and they go into the game like snarling animals, really giving them a working over. One of the players goes into a tackle like a block of concrete off a tower block, and mangles his man, but falls to the floor like stunned halibut.

The touchline medics come over to look at him, and they discover that the poor ashen faced pudendum has managed to dislocate his hip. She tells him that it's going to hurt like fuckery, but that she has to set the hip joint back in place then and there before it swells too badly. He agrees and prepares for the worst, after being given something to bite down on...

"Ready.......1.....2......."before she gets to 3 she shoves with all her might and there's an almighty crunch...

The guy goes as red as a beetroot and shrieks with pain, at first she assumes it's just the pain of the joint being forced back in, but his shouts and screams are so earth shattering, that his vocal cords shred and he passes out.

She pulls down the shorts to look at the area, and there, stuffed into the hip socket is one half of his ballbag, testicle included.

The poor pudendum has to have surgery on his vocal cords, and the testicle is so crushed by the time they get him to hospital and remove it that it's binned.....

:( That is horrendous :(

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 21 Apr 2005, 05:10

Gives new meaning to the old joke....
"Rugby is a game played by men with funny shaped balls."

Coconut · Post by **Coconut** » 21 Apr 2005, 06:38

jamesmcdonnell wrote:Yes, paying close attention to the difference between the pink ones and the red ones...."hang on, is that one red or pink, fornicate it, I'm going for a six, watch out beefy here I......
"GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh"

Read a great story in loaded once.

Local rugby team were preparing to face some visitors, who had a reputation for being really hard tackling dirty bastards, so they decided to give them a taste of their own medicine and really go at the bastards.

The captain gets them fired up and they go into the game like snarling animals, really giving them a working over. One of the players goes into a tackle like a block of concrete off a tower block, and mangles his man, but falls to the floor like stunned halibut.

The touchline medics come over to look at him, and they discover that the poor ashen faced pudendum has managed to dislocate his hip. She tells him that it's going to hurt like fuckery, but that she has to set the hip joint back in place then and there before it swells too badly. He agrees and prepares for the worst, after being given something to bite down on...

"Ready.......1.....2......."before she gets to 3 she shoves with all her might and there's an almighty crunch...

The guy goes as red as a beetroot and shrieks with pain, at first she assumes it's just the pain of the joint being forced back in, but his shouts and screams are so earth shattering, that his vocal cords shred and he passes out.

She pulls down the shorts to look at the area, and there, stuffed into the hip socket is one half of his ballbag, testicle included.

The poor pudendum has to have surgery on his vocal cords, and the testicle is so crushed by the time they get him to hospital and remove it that it's binned.....

Sweet bloody norah. I nearly cried. And my nuts started hurting. Poor feller.

Goz · Post by **Goz** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:12

One thing I will say is that Snooker players put far more practice time in than darts players. The top snooker players practice up to 8/9 hours per day..

It's a sport, just about.... Wouldn't want to see it in the Olympics though...

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:19

Let's face it, darts is a lot fornicating easier in terms of the level of skill and concentration needed. The mental work required to string a break together in snooker is phenomenal. I got a 42 break once and I nearly passed out with the effort.

Goz · Post by **Goz** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:20

jamesmcdonnell wrote:Let's face it, darts is a lot fornicating easier in terms of the level of skill and concentration needed. The mental work required to string a break together in snooker is phenomenal. I got a 42 break once and I nearly passed out with the effort.

Funny enough 42 is my highest break too!

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:22

Mine's 43, I lied.

DavidPayne · Post by **DavidPayne** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:22

I was handy at 16 at snooker.

Not proper handy but my highest break was 46 and I missed an easy blue for my fifty. Gutted.

But then I started getting served in pubs and my 15 hour a week regime soon dissapated.

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:26

My old man thought he had the next Stephen Hendry on his hands for a while, but I couldn't really be arsed with playing all the time.

Still shit hot at Pool however.

DavidPayne · Post by **DavidPayne** » 21 Apr 2005, 09:34

A pool challenge is always welcome.

That is a 'game' I can play.

Goz · Post by **Goz** » 21 Apr 2005, 13:10

I got the North London Imperial Pool League Player of the year one season in the mid nineties, lost 1 game out of about 25 all season.

Sounds like a Boxrec pool challenge in the offing...

jamesmcdonnell · Post by **jamesmcdonnell** » 21 Apr 2005, 13:49

Yeah I'm up for a game. What does everyone play, 9 ball or straight pool. I've been playing nine ball more lately, but I prefer straight pool, but not on those shitarse pub tables with rubberised pockets, prefer to play on american tables.

Bard of Boxrec · Post by **Bard of Boxrec** » 21 Apr 2005, 16:02

I'm the 2nd best player at my local pub

Trouble is, every week I get destroyed by the best player.

Twinkle Toes · Post by **Twinkle Toes** » 21 Apr 2005, 18:31

An old friend of mine was a hot talent, he was the first person in the country to be be on a YTS to play snooker.

Mega talented lad, but like a lot of people who have great natural ability, the lure of other things was too much.

Shame really - He is a delivery driver now :)

Lickszz · Post by **Lickszz** » 21 Apr 2005, 20:04

Playing any cue sport under pressure takes a certain amount of bollocks. It's so competative at the top these days that a large number of players enter each tournament with a real chance.

Pool is a much more tactical game than snooker. Snooker required better potting skills but is primarily about break building and shots to nothing. Depending on which rules you play pool is about covering pockets and forcing the other player to make shots he doesn't want.