The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

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kevo
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The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by kevo »

The "Bark Destroyer"?

A MAN has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a TREE.

Nigel Benn, 28, has been ordered by a court not to enter Walton Park in Liverpool after claims he attempted to bonk the plant.

It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year.

It is claimed he then tried to have simulated sex with the tree while his trousers were around his ankles. Benn, of London, yesterday pleaded not guilty to an act of public indecency at the City's Crown court.

Judge Frank Pieri released Benn on bail - on the condition that he stays away from Walton Park. Last night Benn was unavailable to discuss the allegations at his flat/sex dungeon.

Read more: http://www.thelibelthread.co.uk/homepag ... z1DgJJnPOL


Image

The Tree, Yesterday (identity obscured)
Adamj1987
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

there was a guy who made holes in the soil in parks, fields etc and having sex with said hole.
kevo
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by kevo »

Adamj1987 wrote:there was a guy who made holes in the soil in parks, fields etc and having sex with said hole.
It was Nigel Benn.
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

kevo wrote:
Adamj1987 wrote:there was a guy who made holes in the soil in parks, fields etc and having sex with said hole.
It was Nigel Benn.
Could of been there is a proper term for it I believe masturbating with leaves is more common than people think, i blame the Internet for me knowing this
jBacca
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by jBacca »

To be fair, it's a mighty piiiine tree.

he he he
kevo
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by kevo »

It's a right dirty birch
Adamj1987
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

these puns are terrible
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by keithmoonhangover »

He gets wood just by looking at wood.
NazNaci1
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by NazNaci1 »

Is there counciling available for the said tree?
kevo
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by kevo »

Adamj1987 wrote:these puns are terrible
Leaf us alone.
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by jBacca »

kevo wrote:
Adamj1987 wrote:these puns are terrible
Leaf us alone.
That Adam is the root of all our troubles. :shame:
Adamj1987
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

jBacca wrote:
kevo wrote:
Adamj1987 wrote:these puns are terrible
Leaf us alone.
That Adam is the root of all our troubles. :shame:
someone should call the 1930s and tell them some scousers have stole there jokes
kevo
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by kevo »

Adamj1987 wrote:
jBacca wrote:
kevo wrote: Leaf us alone.
That Adam is the root of all our troubles. :shame:
someone should call the 1930s and tell them some scousers have stole there jokes
Ash hole
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by allworld80 »

Maple you should STFU Adam
Adamj1987
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

wow this is as bad as having sex with joan rivers
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by JDC »

Should be ashamed
jBacca
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by jBacca »

Adam, stfu, you're barking up the wrong tree.

I'm sycamore your attitude.
NazNaci1
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by NazNaci1 »

Maybe make like a tree and leaf?
m1kee50
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by m1kee50 »

JDC wrote:Should be ash-amed
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Adamj1987 »

Court told of sex with traffic cone
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Published Date: 16 October 2002
By AMY DEVINE
A MAN rolled about on the ground having sex with a traffic cone as stunned youths watched in disbelief, a court heard yesterday.
Ross Watt, 33, had sex with the bollard only because he couldn’t get his hands on his favoured sex object - a pair of trainers. Watt had gone round teenager drivers gathered at an Edinburgh beauty spot asking if they would sell him their trainers.
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But when they refused he turned his attention to the orange and white traffic cone and simulated sex with it. Watt was egged on by the crowd who shouted encouragement, urging him to "give it some".

Charles Robertson, 23, a mechanic, was one of about a dozen youths present on Calton Hill, when Watt made his bizarre request. Mr Robertson told Edinburgh Sheriff Court: "He first came along and spoke to us when we were in our cars.

"He approached us and asked if we had any shoes or trainers for sale. He was going from car to car asking this."

Watt, of Robertson Court, Edinburgh, then started rubbing his genitals up and down the traffic cone.

He said the incident carried on for about 15 or 20 minutes. Police were alerted to the late night incident on 3 September at Calton Hill and arrived to find Watt replacing a traffic cone by a gatepost just yards from the Scottish Executive’s St Andrew’s House.

His defence lawyer, Andy Gilbertson, suggested to Sheriff Mhairi Stephen that if his client had been performing at an Edinburgh Festival Fringe show and people were egging him on that it would have been acceptable, but then retracted his opinion.

Watt was found guilty of acting in a disorderly manner by simulating sexual intercourse with a traffic cone and placing members of the public in a state of fear and alarm on 3 September at Calton Hill and committing a breach of the peace.

Sheriff Stephen: "I take the view that the unpleasant and disgusting character of your behaviour that evening in a public area is behaviour that amounts to a breach of the peace."

Sentence was deferred for four weeks until reports are prepared.
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Re: The ALL NEW Libel Thread.

Post by Neri »

We at Pink Feather Promotions have a strong dislike for fight fans who have their nose in the fighters life away from boxing. What Nigel does away from the ring has nothing to do with you guys.

It's barking mad!
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