I mentioned this in the "boxing books" thread on here but I'm now halfway through Meldrick Taylor's autobiography and I cannot believe what I am reading.
Has anyone read this? I must admit I had no idea it existed, and wondered why it was only available from his website. After reading 2 chapters I know exactly why it's only sold via his website.
Do not under any circumstances buy this book, it is possibly the worst book I've ever read in my entire life. It's easily the worst written book I've ever attempted to read. It cost me nearly $40 and I've half a mind to ask for a refund.
The book starts off thanking everyone, and mentions how much time his friend (the guy you paypal the money to) spent "checking" the book and helping him write it. Well all I can say is, his friend must be a f*cking idiot who is blind to boot. I have never read such an incoherant mess as this. Every page is littered with spelling and grammatical errors, it constantly switches tense, even mid sentence at some points.
The book is split into chapters which make absolutely no sense, each "paragraph" is a series of very short sentences, like a child has dicated what he ate for lunch i.e. For lunch I had soup. Then I had bread. Then I drank water. Then I went to play. It was good. I liked it.
It talks about the Chavez fight in one chapter which ends with a ridiculously incoherant rant about Richard Steele which makes no sense (I have tried to read it ten times now, it still looks like he's just written down 20 words that describe Steele and not attempted to join them together in any way), then there's 2 rambling chapters about his holiday and business and then another chapter on the Chavez fight, which more or less repeats the previous chapter but leaves out the Steele rant.
Some chapters are only a page and a half long. Halfway through the book he just randomly mentions when he was born and that he has 3 siblings, then carries on talking about what he was talking about in the previous sentence.
Nearly every page shoehorns God into it, and he randomly throws in bible quotations into every chapter.
I will pick out my favourite bits and type them in, see if it makes sense to any of you.
If the book wasn't $40 with shipping, I would say go get a copy because you will get some entertainment out of it. The people leaving the book testimonials on his website must be either high on crack or on the payroll.
2 Seconds from glory
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Great review."For lunch I had soup. Then I had bread. Then I drank water. Then I went to play. It was good. I liked it." reminded me of Joe Calzaghe's autobiography.
Seems a lot cheaper HTTP://WWW.YOLTBOOKS.COM than what you paid though, no idea if it's legit.
Last edited by Scottrf on 15 Mar 2011, 15:14, edited 1 time in total.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
True, his bio was really dull but at least it was written well (odd typo and factual error aside), the subject was just...meh.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Ok, just some random sections. I promise I am not making it sound worse than it is or intentionally typing it badly, this is verbatim (exactly as it is in the book, word for word).
From the opening section (!):
"My kids have always been my inspiration who live through and looks up to me to give them the direction and guidance to be best God created them to be they are go my to do great things in their life. I can one day brag about them and say they are mine, because they are wonderful human beings.
I have a lot of people to thank to helping me undertake this tall task it took a lot of time in patience. My two lovely sister Maureen and Stacey, who type and prepare for hours without compensation who didn't mind at all, and was happy to assit me. I really appreciate it so much. Thank y'all.
Individual Spiritual Brother if the Faith, who also help me type and prepare my manuscript, I owe a lot of Thanks to them, they encourage me to finish the book and assist on every level.
High priest Haradapyah and his son Haradapyaba 13 Sheild General Shamarawn and to the nation of Israel. I say Shalam Kayashla rise Israel.
I would really like to thank my good friend and partner, Gumersinda Vidot [the dude I paid via paypal], and his lovely daughter, Alaina Leslie, who helped me prepare the book for printing, it took a lot of time and work. I appreciate their patience and diligence constantly going over the manuscript, finding and correcting errors [really? more work required I think!]. They are both part of my team and will play an important role and take part in my success"
From the opening section (!):
"My kids have always been my inspiration who live through and looks up to me to give them the direction and guidance to be best God created them to be they are go my to do great things in their life. I can one day brag about them and say they are mine, because they are wonderful human beings.
I have a lot of people to thank to helping me undertake this tall task it took a lot of time in patience. My two lovely sister Maureen and Stacey, who type and prepare for hours without compensation who didn't mind at all, and was happy to assit me. I really appreciate it so much. Thank y'all.
Individual Spiritual Brother if the Faith, who also help me type and prepare my manuscript, I owe a lot of Thanks to them, they encourage me to finish the book and assist on every level.
High priest Haradapyah and his son Haradapyaba 13 Sheild General Shamarawn and to the nation of Israel. I say Shalam Kayashla rise Israel.
I would really like to thank my good friend and partner, Gumersinda Vidot [the dude I paid via paypal], and his lovely daughter, Alaina Leslie, who helped me prepare the book for printing, it took a lot of time and work. I appreciate their patience and diligence constantly going over the manuscript, finding and correcting errors [really? more work required I think!]. They are both part of my team and will play an important role and take part in my success"
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
"My kids have always been my inspiration who live through and looks up to me to give them the direction and guidance to be best God created them to be they are go my to do great things in their life."
Hard to believe someone read that and left it in. Shocking.
Hard to believe someone read that and left it in. Shocking.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
From the chapter "Aftermath" [following the loss to Chavez]:
"JULY 4th, 1910 RENO NEVADA, Jack Johnson vs. Jim Jeffries Heavyweight championship fight. At time in which White America independently separated themselves and was antisocial towards Black people living in America. Their exposition and obloquy or racism and antic personify so can you imagine the ferocious and vicious venom they felt when Jack Johnson plundered, pounced and pulverized Jim Jeffries into submission. White America stake for Jim Jeffries was for him to be the great white hope to substantiate supremacy. Johnson annihilated Jeffries and beat him to a bloody pulp and if it weren't for the referee stopping the fight, Johnson would have knocked him unconscious. Jim Jeffries' corner man probably resented the fact that Jack Johnson made their fighter relinquish helplessly and was saved by the referee. They themselves couldn't stand the hummiliation and embarrassment of stopping the fight at the hands of Jack Johnson, a superior god. The triumph by Jack Johnson precipitated a race riot across America, the fireworks for Independence Day lived up to its billing. Anarchy by White people and Black people was being murdered because they were celebrating and being jubilant that merit their belief. White White America prejudice warrant a complex of inferiority. Jack Johnson mocked White America with his exquisite smile and grand life style. He lived the disposition of regal emperor conquering in battle and taking the spoil "booty". He made no apology for living the status quo and he refutes the color barrier. His antics outrage the White man by dating outlandish White women and sporting them in his expensive automobiles. Jack Johnson cavalier attitude and elabourate in elegant attire made him phenominal.
There was no Watt's riot or no looting as there was after the Rodney King beat down or what did the OJ verdict have in comparison to Thunder and Lightning. Television sets were smashed in someone's living room and arguments were forged at the dinner table. Somebody lost a bet and forfeit the debt. Someone was cussing and heard a woman scream. Saint Partick was a fighting Irish from Notre Dame. [what the F does that have to do with ANYTHING? Is he saying where was my riot when I got beaten by Chavez?!? He then goes on to quote humpty dumpty before actually talking about the aftermath of his fight]
The media had written and told a fairytale of lies. The media fantasized and dramatized my injuries after the fight claiming I lost six pints of blood, my eye socket was broken and I spent three weeks in hospital. That was so absurd and far out lunacy. I was just dehydrated, lost some blood and had a fracture eye [so you did have a broken eye socket and you did lose lots of blood then?]. I left the hospital that same night and went to the press conference. [Then goes on to quote at length various bible passages about lies, very dull..then meanders back to talking about the fight and Jack Johnson, drawls parallels between himself and Johnson being entrepenuers]
"JULY 4th, 1910 RENO NEVADA, Jack Johnson vs. Jim Jeffries Heavyweight championship fight. At time in which White America independently separated themselves and was antisocial towards Black people living in America. Their exposition and obloquy or racism and antic personify so can you imagine the ferocious and vicious venom they felt when Jack Johnson plundered, pounced and pulverized Jim Jeffries into submission. White America stake for Jim Jeffries was for him to be the great white hope to substantiate supremacy. Johnson annihilated Jeffries and beat him to a bloody pulp and if it weren't for the referee stopping the fight, Johnson would have knocked him unconscious. Jim Jeffries' corner man probably resented the fact that Jack Johnson made their fighter relinquish helplessly and was saved by the referee. They themselves couldn't stand the hummiliation and embarrassment of stopping the fight at the hands of Jack Johnson, a superior god. The triumph by Jack Johnson precipitated a race riot across America, the fireworks for Independence Day lived up to its billing. Anarchy by White people and Black people was being murdered because they were celebrating and being jubilant that merit their belief. White White America prejudice warrant a complex of inferiority. Jack Johnson mocked White America with his exquisite smile and grand life style. He lived the disposition of regal emperor conquering in battle and taking the spoil "booty". He made no apology for living the status quo and he refutes the color barrier. His antics outrage the White man by dating outlandish White women and sporting them in his expensive automobiles. Jack Johnson cavalier attitude and elabourate in elegant attire made him phenominal.
There was no Watt's riot or no looting as there was after the Rodney King beat down or what did the OJ verdict have in comparison to Thunder and Lightning. Television sets were smashed in someone's living room and arguments were forged at the dinner table. Somebody lost a bet and forfeit the debt. Someone was cussing and heard a woman scream. Saint Partick was a fighting Irish from Notre Dame. [what the F does that have to do with ANYTHING? Is he saying where was my riot when I got beaten by Chavez?!? He then goes on to quote humpty dumpty before actually talking about the aftermath of his fight]
The media had written and told a fairytale of lies. The media fantasized and dramatized my injuries after the fight claiming I lost six pints of blood, my eye socket was broken and I spent three weeks in hospital. That was so absurd and far out lunacy. I was just dehydrated, lost some blood and had a fracture eye [so you did have a broken eye socket and you did lose lots of blood then?]. I left the hospital that same night and went to the press conference. [Then goes on to quote at length various bible passages about lies, very dull..then meanders back to talking about the fight and Jack Johnson, drawls parallels between himself and Johnson being entrepenuers]
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Was it ghost written by David Icke?
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
...I am publishing my own book and writing my own autobiography with authentic authorship. [really? I always thought you got someone to write your autobiography for you? What the hell is authentic authorship?]. We both have exquisite and expensive life style and driving high performance cars. Mercedes Benz was our choice and my sports car was the Porsche. We both enjoy living in luxury, the splendor of ambiance and being so charismatic and debonair. The ladies lover dressing so dapper. [not to mention modest]. We strut when walk, being sure of ourselves. [I might make that my signature, has a certain ring to it]. Going to the beat of our own drum and making decisions that fit us best. We don't scratch where you don't itch Negro. [what?]. We were not intimidated and were not antagonized by our enemies. [except he admits earlier in the book that numerous guys he faced got to him, he was nervous etc].
We both slept around with a lot of White nymphomaniacs with porcelain skin who had narcissistic behaviour with their prurient mind and their promiscous nature to seduce a Blackman. Satisfying their curiosity to be dominated by a Long John Silver [yaaaaaaaarrrrrrr, aye Jim lad] once they went black they never went back. Screaming their erotic orgasm as their clitoris was gushing out wet bursting open like a pregnant woman when their water breaks. [gushing clitoris sounds painful]. Their raunchy attitude never getting enough jamming our pricks down their mouth, choking and hemorrhaging on our warm cum clogged in their throat. Their eyes roll back in their heads while dilating ecstasy. Worshipping your penis lke the only God they know. When I got tired of busting my nut, she wanted takeout so I let my quintet off friends have the leftovers like a buffet dinner. She was so hungry and starving for more, so much greed. She wanted dessert, a chocolate custard banana split with cream filling, dipping her head back and forth and dripping and exploding your load on her face. [oo-er...I don't think he's talking about food!]. She licked her tongue on her lips sucking on the cream of delight with her fingers. She likes her sex rough and hard. She wants it up the back, sticking it in the rear, she cries ecstatically with joy thirsting for an orgy. [Really? Or did you just make that up Meldrick?]
The chapter bizarrely just ends there...doesn't really talk about the aftermath of the fight at all.
We both slept around with a lot of White nymphomaniacs with porcelain skin who had narcissistic behaviour with their prurient mind and their promiscous nature to seduce a Blackman. Satisfying their curiosity to be dominated by a Long John Silver [yaaaaaaaarrrrrrr, aye Jim lad] once they went black they never went back. Screaming their erotic orgasm as their clitoris was gushing out wet bursting open like a pregnant woman when their water breaks. [gushing clitoris sounds painful]. Their raunchy attitude never getting enough jamming our pricks down their mouth, choking and hemorrhaging on our warm cum clogged in their throat. Their eyes roll back in their heads while dilating ecstasy. Worshipping your penis lke the only God they know. When I got tired of busting my nut, she wanted takeout so I let my quintet off friends have the leftovers like a buffet dinner. She was so hungry and starving for more, so much greed. She wanted dessert, a chocolate custard banana split with cream filling, dipping her head back and forth and dripping and exploding your load on her face. [oo-er...I don't think he's talking about food!]. She licked her tongue on her lips sucking on the cream of delight with her fingers. She likes her sex rough and hard. She wants it up the back, sticking it in the rear, she cries ecstatically with joy thirsting for an orgy. [Really? Or did you just make that up Meldrick?]
The chapter bizarrely just ends there...doesn't really talk about the aftermath of the fight at all.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
I reckon it was proofread by Icke's lizards.bfchunk wrote:Was it ghost written by David Icke?
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Did he really have to go into so much detail about his sexual encounters?-
jameswilson
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 13382
- Joined: 08 Jan 2004, 18:01
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
You call that going into detail? It sounds like a pub lunch.Scottrf wrote:
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
It's a very odd book. There's a whole chapter about some completely inane set of events which takes up pages and pages but the short of it is, he cheated on seemingly every women he was ever with. You wouldn't mind but it's just written in a totally banal style - I went to the prom with a girl. On the way there I met another girl. I then met the other girl. We danced. She wanted a McDonalds. I asked her to come to the Olympics with me. She said no way. I said I'm serious. She came to the Olympics with me.
Seriously...page after page of banal, badly written crap like that.
The weirdest bit is where he's talking about Steele. I'll type it in tomorrow, I'm bored of typing. There's a bit where he says and Steele said to me "Was I ok". Well no, you put in quotes exactly what the person said to you, not what you tell other people in the past tense he said to you.
Seriously...page after page of banal, badly written crap like that.
The weirdest bit is where he's talking about Steele. I'll type it in tomorrow, I'm bored of typing. There's a bit where he says and Steele said to me "Was I ok". Well no, you put in quotes exactly what the person said to you, not what you tell other people in the past tense he said to you.
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lefty
- Heavyweight
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
shakespearean calibre literatureorbtastic wrote:I mentioned this in the "boxing books" thread on here but I'm now halfway through Meldrick Taylor's autobiography and I cannot believe what I am reading.
Has anyone read this? I must admit I had no idea it existed, and wondered why it was only available from his website. After reading 2 chapters I know exactly why it's only sold via his website.
Do not under any circumstances buy this book, it is possibly the worst book I've ever read in my entire life. It's easily the worst written book I've ever attempted to read. It cost me nearly $40 and I've half a mind to ask for a refund.
The book starts off thanking everyone, and mentions how much time his friend (the guy you paypal the money to) spent "checking" the book and helping him write it. Well all I can say is, his friend must be a f*cking idiot who is blind to boot. I have never read such an incoherant mess as this. Every page is littered with spelling and grammatical errors, it constantly switches tense, even mid sentence at some points.
The book is split into chapters which make absolutely no sense, each "paragraph" is a series of very short sentences, like a child has dicated what he ate for lunch i.e. For lunch I had soup. Then I had bread. Then I drank water. Then I went to play. It was good. I liked it.
It talks about the Chavez fight in one chapter which ends with a ridiculously incoherant rant about Richard Steele which makes no sense (I have tried to read it ten times now, it still looks like he's just written down 20 words that describe Steele and not attempted to join them together in any way), then there's 2 rambling chapters about his holiday and business and then another chapter on the Chavez fight, which more or less repeats the previous chapter but leaves out the Steele rant.
Some chapters are only a page and a half long. Halfway through the book he just randomly mentions when he was born and that he has 3 siblings, then carries on talking about what he was talking about in the previous sentence.
Nearly every page shoehorns God into it, and he randomly throws in bible quotations into every chapter.
I will pick out my favourite bits and type them in, see if it makes sense to any of you.
If the book wasn't $40 with shipping, I would say go get a copy because you will get some entertainment out of it. The people leaving the book testimonials on his website must be either high on crack or on the payroll.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Pubs need to step up and put chocolate custard banana split with cream filling on the menu.jameswilson wrote:You call that going into detail? It sounds like a pub lunch.Scottrf wrote:
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jameswilson
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 13382
- Joined: 08 Jan 2004, 18:01
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
You should write a book about it, it might shake up the menus in all our locals. Only needs to be one page long with the following written on itorbtastic wrote:Pubs need to step up and put chocolate custard banana split with cream filling on the menu.jameswilson wrote:You call that going into detail? It sounds like a pub lunch.Scottrf wrote:
'I went to a pub to eat. It was not good. Did not have chocolate custard bannana split with cream filling. I then did her up the wrong-un.'
You write it I'll sort out the publishing. Who knows we might all become millionaires.
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Final round
- Cruiserweight
- Posts: 4911
- Joined: 20 Oct 2010, 17:02
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
'Satisfying their curiosity to be dominated by a Long John Silver [yaaaaaaaarrrrrrr, aye Jim lad] once they went black they never went back.' : It actually hurt my eyes reading some of that rambling garbage I would be pissed spending 30 quid on that shit.
thanks for the laffs though.
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bluenoseshf
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 136
- Joined: 16 Mar 2010, 13:46
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Cardiff-Lad1 wrote:Its sounds like one of the legendary Kris Akabusi sex stories. If you haven't heard of them, Google it. The guy who wrote them is a genius. Genuinely some of the funniest things I've ever read. :)
I was thinking the exact same thing.
http://www.haxed.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=48256.30
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damianhucker1
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 3071
- Joined: 20 Sep 2008, 17:36
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Jeez , as much as its an interesting thread to read i certainly wont be buying the book .
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Counter-puncher
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 39141
- Joined: 20 May 2008, 11:41
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
bfchunk wrote:Was it ghost written by David Icke?
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Counter-puncher
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 39141
- Joined: 20 May 2008, 11:41
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
orbtastic wrote:Pubs need to step up and put chocolate custard banana split with cream filling on the menu.jameswilson wrote:You call that going into detail? It sounds like a pub lunch.Scottrf wrote:
this is fantastic stuff, truly.
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Jeff Thomas
- Heavyweight
- Posts: 3016
- Joined: 30 Apr 2009, 06:32
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Am I on eastside? This is hilariousRe: 2 Seconds from glory
More to come later, I forgot to bring the book into work to type up a couple of choice cuts. I think I'll lead off with the racist rant today.
Re: 2 Seconds from glory
Sounds like it's not even 'so bad it's good' - seems far, far beyond that. Ye Gods.