My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

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keithmoonhangover
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My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by keithmoonhangover »

Please read it and let me know what you think.

Cheers,

Fletch

http://news.boxrec.com/news/2011/debutant-fight
phil5555
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by phil5555 »

Very Good :TU:
Superheavy
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by Superheavy »

Interesting read, though not as good as your first one, which was excellent!

There's a problem with this sentence: "After his training sessions sweats more than a fat postman after a double shift and in the ring"

This kind of construction is a little cumbersome (and over used): "He is confident in his own abilities, but if you’re looking for a man full of soundbites, then you had better talk to someone else."

Similar: "If this is what the modern sportsman is, then our Mr Dixon is positively old fashioned."

I like this: "with the intention of doing one thing... punching another man in the face until someone tells him to stop"

Keep them coming!
keithmoonhangover
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by keithmoonhangover »

Superheavy wrote:Interesting read, though not as good as your first one, which was excellent!

There's a problem with this sentence: "After his training sessions sweats more than a fat postman after a double shift and in the ring"

This kind of construction is a little cumbersome (and over used): "He is confident in his own abilities, but if you’re looking for a man full of soundbites, then you had better talk to someone else."

Similar: "If this is what the modern sportsman is, then our Mr Dixon is positively old fashioned."

I like this: "with the intention of doing one thing... punching another man in the face until someone tells him to stop"

Keep them coming!
Thanks for the comments, good and bad. the line "with the intention of doing one thing... punching another man in the face until someone tells him to stop" is the bit that is pure me. It only took me an hour to write, when I write the next one I'm going to out more me in it.
Dan Dares
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by Dan Dares »

nice one keithmoon

not only is he a fkin good drummer but he can tap out a story too.

Always like to read about debutants, and its vital that they get written about. Good stuff.
Final round
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by Final round »

Good article mate
pnejon
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by pnejon »

nice work fletch, keep em coming!
keithmoonhangover
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Posts: 17104
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by keithmoonhangover »

pnejon wrote:nice work fletch, keep em coming!
Thanks Johnnyboy. :TU:
leforge
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by leforge »

Good article keep it going!
stevek3lly
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by stevek3lly »

Good read that John. Was looking out for spelling and grammer mistakes, but being shit at English myself I would not have a clue if there was any.

I will be keeping my eye on him as well.
dondada
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by dondada »

stevek3lly wrote:Good read that John. Was looking out for spelling and grammer mistakes, but being shit at English myself I would not have a clue if there was any.
Articles which go on BoxRec News are edited - and not just for spelling and grammar either. I don't just let any old shite go up, though some might see things differently. :lol:

There will always be errors though, especially as I'm always doing it at speed.
keithmoonhangover
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Re: My Second Boxing Article is on BoxRec

Post by keithmoonhangover »

Ian 'Mr' McNeilly wrote:
stevek3lly wrote:Good read that John. Was looking out for spelling and grammer mistakes, but being shit at English myself I would not have a clue if there was any.
Articles which go on BoxRec News are edited - and not just for spelling and grammar either. I don't just let any old shite go up, though some might see things differently. :lol:

There will always be errors though, especially as I'm always doing it at speed.
'At speed' or 'On speed'.
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