The comedic genius of Ian McNeilly

[IronLiver]

Woke up this morning with a slight hangover. I though I'd find out all the happenings of this weekends boxing by logging onto a few sites. When I happened To stumble accross a report of Fridays undercard at the magna centre. Quite frankly nothing in boxing has ever made me laugh quite as much as this.


Batley’s Zahid Kahut (15st 7½lbs) can count himself unfortunate to have been stopped at 3:00 of the third round of his contest with Rotherham’s Karl Bell (14st 4lbs 3oz) – but not as unfortunate as the paying public who were subjected to a contest so agricultural in nature that referee Steve Grey might as well have come dressed as Farmer Giles.

Legal eagle Kahut – once memorably described by commentator Ian Darke as ‘the solicitor without a defence’ - used his training to successfully negotiate a distance of four-threes rather than six-twos. This was a mistake, albeit hardly as glaring as the multitude of basic errors both fighters made in the ring.

He entered the hall to James Brown’s ‘I Feel Good’ then proceeded to spend the next nine minutes making everyone else feel quite the opposite.

Kahut, who has somehow registered five wins in eleven contests, started by pawing out a jab that astonished those who witnessed it; it was so slow, for a longer-than-fleeting moment it was as if we were unknowing extras in boxing’s version of Chariots of Fire.

His punches were thrown so wildly, it looked on several occasions as if he was trying to tap a ringside spectator on the head before the attempted blows set off in the right direction.

Having given you this context, if I tell you that Kahut actually won the opening round, this should offer you some insight into how genuinely low-quality the bout was.

Bell had Dominic Ingle in his corner. If there are any fans out there who believe there is some kind of Wincobank conveyor belt where everyone tries to box in the mould of Herol Graham, Karl Bell is living testament to the falsity of that proposition. The lad did listen to his trainer though, who told him to get closer to the 6’6” Kahut to counter any physical advantage the big man had – though Kahut was doing a good job of nullifying these advantages all by himself.

Referee Grey warned both fighters in the second round, presumably for the level of scrappiness – though it could have been to check he wasn’t the victim of some elaborate practical joke. Boxing suddenly broke out and Bell cracked in a few hooks; he was rugged but better than Kahut, who slipped to the canvas at one point.

The third was quite a wild affair; it was astonishing, given their sizes, how often both missed the target. The pair whaled away. One ringside wag suggested it was like the ‘Thrilla in Manila’ which is akin to comparing Cannon and Ball to Hamlet and Laertes.

Kahut scored with an uppercut, Bell marched forward, mauling. The home town fighter offered pressure without success. Perversely, Kahut decided to help him by dropping his hands - so Bell, presumably not daft, simply punched him in the face, twice.

A right hook from Bell left Kahut even more ungainly than he normally is. Both swung away and Bell connected with another right hook. Kahut was in trouble, sagging on the ropes but given that the bell sounded to end the round, the referee’s decision to wave off the contest seemed a bit harsh. On Kahut that is. Not on anyone else. It seems that referee Steve ‘Fifty Shades of’ Grey is, thankfully, no fan of sado-masochism.

Unabashed and referring to his entrance music, Kahut shouted to the crowd before the verdict was announced, “I still feel good!” Knowing that the contest had ended, those at ringside were now on his wavelength.

Kahut should not allow criticism of this kind to stop him chasing his dreams though. Nor, secretly, would we want him to. The ‘solicitor without a defence’ is already a mini-cult hero amongst Yorkshire’s small hall hardcore and this performance will have done this status no harm at all.

Bell, a fit lad and a trier, moved to 4-1. Kahut is now 5-6.

[Matt W]

[MightyWarrior]

[Datsue]

WAR KAHUT!

[ThereByTheGrace]

Genius. Who necks for Kahut?

[Wales]

I saw kahuts debut when he beat scott mitchell. He won over 6x2, it was a shite fight. I understand scott has been training in brazil with rampage jackson recemtly, so presumably shrek (as alex mattvienko lovingly refers to him) must have improved greatly.

[jameswilson]

Haha. Quality stuff.

[greenyox3]

I remember seeing Kahut in Prizefighter, and thinking that either the Cruiserweight division was seriously shallow, or that he had one hell of a promoter to get him in!

His footwork was comedy, like bambi on ice.

[Jeff Thomas]

Really nice fella though to be fair

[Dixonian]

Wow, I now - very oddly - want to see this fight.

[Wales]

One of those things u think "I'd watch that" then 20 seconds in u get really fed up, like an old episode of gladiators, or (personally) a pernell whittaker fight you've seen before

[bigped]

I saw kahuts debut when he beat scott mitchell. He won over 6x2, it was a shite fight. I understand scott has been training in brazil with rampage jackson recemtly, so presumably shrek (as alex mattvienko lovingly refers to him) must have improved greatly.

scott mitchell? big lad baldy head? he doing cage fighting now? were was he from bolton?

[Wales]

The very same. Big mates with matvienko, but, from what I've seen, knows his limits and level and is just an honest guy that trains hard n does what he does. He was shite in his debut, but flew to brazil with rampage so...

Don't know the lad. Just commenting on what I've read / heard / seen.

[bigped]

The very same. Big mates with matvienko, but, from what I've seen, knows his limits and level and is just an honest guy that trains hard n does what he does. He was shite in his debut, but flew to brazil with rampage so...

Don't know the lad. Just commenting on what I've read / heard / seen.

met him in a bar in benidorm few years back, seemed a good lad had totally forgot about him , hope hes doing well.

[dondada]

Thanks all

Kahut is compelling viewing, that's for sure.

[jBacca]

Thanks all

Kahut is compelling viewing, that's for sure.

Its taken me this long to realise you were Ian.

Bravo

[KKTheOne]

I've stumbled across this myself.... I was at this fight watching Woodhouse. And I have to disagree. Not enough credit is given to Bell here. And quite honestly in the bar afterwards it was undercard fight of the night. Certainly entertaining to watch Kahut at all times but The ingle gym Know what they are doing with these lads. I've seen Bell on a few occasions and he is improving with each bout. It's a bit of a disrespectful write up if u ask me. And inaccurate. I was also there and I'm sure many others will disagree that it was all a farce. These lads train hard from Ingles, and by the physique of Bell ... got a stoppage, he got a knock down. More than a trier in my eyes. Brilliant night.Well done Karl Bell. Not easy in there as only real fighters will know