AJ-Martin SKY behind the ropes piece. Strange things are afoot

[Counter-puncher]

[J]

I remember when Larry Holmes spoke about Mike Tyson he would say things like he would self-destruct etc. Tyson was so closely managed with Jim Jacobs that he had this fantastic image. He was the ultimate bad boy who had done good, ferocious in the ring, but (in the main) he was Mr charming with his squeeky lispy voice out of it.

This was before all the Robin Givens business where the mask started to fall. All we heard was the 4 am training runs, no trouble with the law and was the dictionary definition of how he turned his life around.

Larry Holmes though saw through the mask and made some bold claims, most of which wound up being true.

Occasionally, Tyson would let his mask slip during his early reign with comments such as his "nose quote", but until Jacobs' death was a PR dream.

I do see parallels with Joshua and Tyson, occasionally Joshua will let his mask slip - such as his comments on whether he respects Whyte - Brand Joshua said only 2 minutes before "respect to Whyte, he brought it too me" - then though he has asked about Whyte and does he now respect him - he just said "No" and even Ed Robinson was a bit taken aback by the response.

He's going to beat Martin and he will have a nice career, but I do think of what Larry Holmes said about Tyson when I think of Joshua. For me, the way he fights is a bit of a "bully" him in - when things don't quite go his own way he resorts to dirty tactics - and I wonder what will happen when things don't quite go according to plan.

agree Stu but this isn't a shock to be boxer you gotta have nasty streak to get to the top

killer instinct call it what you will.

Amazing all this yet much love for Bruno who despite the façade was a shot of bloke really.

[reggaereggae]

Reggae,early contender for post of the year and im sure im not alone at being intrigued what happens next

Thanks. I have already thought of the scenarios. I just need to write it out. I'm out and about on the phone at the moment. Hope I can with something today or tomorrow. And remember guys: #stayhumble

[reggaereggae]

That is effing brilliant. When's the next installment of 'When Femi met Daddy'?

Thanks everyone. I don't consider it brilliant. I give myself myself a 2 out of 10. Anyway it's not about me or what I think.... I just think about the fans I'm writing for. They are the motivation. I still live with my mum and I'm just a normal, down to earth guy. A poster of the people. The future boxrec's people poster champion if you will. If I get chosen as 'post of the year' by the forum, well that's for the fans not me. I just keep it humble. Remember #stayhumble

You forgot the bit that because the post finished earlier then usual, you will now go back to prepare another 20 sentences just because your that dedicated and humble, no after party for you - just focusing on the next post.

good point! I think I will have to sack my media training coach and get a more upmarket one who is more experienced at the dark art of pulling the wool over the public's eyes

#stayhumble

[stujones]

I remember when Larry Holmes spoke about Mike Tyson he would say things like he would self-destruct etc. Tyson was so closely managed with Jim Jacobs that he had this fantastic image. He was the ultimate bad boy who had done good, ferocious in the ring, but (in the main) he was Mr charming with his squeeky lispy voice out of it.

This was before all the Robin Givens business where the mask started to fall. All we heard was the 4 am training runs, no trouble with the law and was the dictionary definition of how he turned his life around.

Larry Holmes though saw through the mask and made some bold claims, most of which wound up being true.

Occasionally, Tyson would let his mask slip during his early reign with comments such as his "nose quote", but until Jacobs' death was a PR dream.

I do see parallels with Joshua and Tyson, occasionally Joshua will let his mask slip - such as his comments on whether he respects Whyte - Brand Joshua said only 2 minutes before "respect to Whyte, he brought it too me" - then though he has asked about Whyte and does he now respect him - he just said "No" and even Ed Robinson was a bit taken aback by the response.

He's going to beat Martin and he will have a nice career, but I do think of what Larry Holmes said about Tyson when I think of Joshua. For me, the way he fights is a bit of a "bully" him in - when things don't quite go his own way he resorts to dirty tactics - and I wonder what will happen when things don't quite go according to plan.

agree Stu but this isn't a shock to be boxer you gotta have nasty streak to get to the top

killer instinct call it what you will.

Amazing all this yet much love for Bruno who despite the façade was a shot of bloke really.

Oh yes, but then not all had the "bully" mentally of Tyson and self-destructed when things didn't go so well (both in and out of the ring).

We can list more champions, who no doubting had a nasty streak, but had the discipline to stick to the rules in the ring and out of thing, than those who digressed. Lennox Lewis, Klitshckos, Foreman - and the like.

I know I shouldn't and I hope I am wrong, but when I see Joshua I think, "the next Tyson" and I can see the buble bursting and we'll be writing about Joshua for the wrong reasons in the future.

[Taansend]

Funny stuff Reggae

I like Joshua outside of the ring (well his IFL interviews anyway ) but I am not sold, by a long chalk, on him as a fighter yet.

Nothing personal but I'll feel a lot better about him after an impressive performance tomorrow.

[reggaereggae]

Later on, Quentin has retired to bed with his wife Fiona who's not too sure about India's new boyfriend, Femi.

Fiona: Quentts, I'm not sure about this new fellow.....I mean is he right? What was wrong with Rupert? He's about to become a partner at his solicitor's firm!

Quentin: look you know Rupert's with his new husband Graham and is facing a crown court trial for fraud and embezzlement. And please! Don't be racist! Don't judge Anthony with your patronising middle class values.

Fiona: Oh come on Quentin! You know I'm not racist; remember I raised £68.70 in my stall at the village fair for victims of honour killings in Pakistan!

Quentin: We all know that's just another form of racism! By raising money for this cause you're basically promoting prejudice and perpetuating racism by claiming that all Muslims are women hating barbarians who subjugate women and throw acid in their face! I told you Fiona stop reading the bloody Daily Mail!

Fiona: Oh fvck off Quentin. And can we please watch Big Brother instead of Al Jazeera news! I think we need to know what the common man thinks about and...

BANG BANG BANG BANG

Fiona: What on earth is that noise?
Fiona and Quentin get up, go down corridor to neaby India's room.

BANG BANG BANG BANG SMASH

Quentin: what on God's good earth is that?

Fiona: I don't know Quentin, it sounds like. Like some sort of bongo party!

Quentin: for Christ's sake I told you not to use that term it's very offensive!

A voice can suddenly be heard -"what? You serious! tell me again girl! You think you can really handle AJ???!! No one can handle all dah AJ, lengf and bredf like airport runway, never got time to do foreplay, when AJ finish you be on sick pay"

What on earth..... That sounds just like... Well... Just like well known grime artist Stormzy! Yelled Quentin.

Fiona: Who on earth is that?

Quentin: You remember darling we watched him at last year's MOBO awards on channel 4! He was very.... You know... Rhythmic.

Fiona: Oh that nonsense

Quentin: Stop it. I told you, it's important that different cultures get to celebrate their own cultures appropriately and without patronising white parochial interference.

A strange, oddly growling voice is suddenly heard: "And there he is! dare I say it, dare I say it - the best British heavyweight ever for sure, but is he the best heavyweight everrrr? What do think think Stormzy?" It sounds just like Adam Smith.....

"Why you speaking like dat fam? Why you be growling like you're some kind of lion innit?"

A deep voice is suddenly breaks everyone's thoughts : "You think you can handle AJ? For real?! You dreaming sket, you're bout to samples my A game ya ratchet, skinny batty white hoodrat!"

BANG BANG BANG

Fiona: good god Quentin, it sounds like that man is going to break my new John Lewis bed! Do you know it cost us £2,500??!!

Quentin: I told you to stop being so bloody materialistic. It's his culture, who are we to judge it?

BANG BANG BANG SMASH

India's painful whimpers can vaguely heard in the background.

The voice in the bedroom gets even deeper and louder "You can't take this ting innit! Imma stick it in your batty so you learn to respect da AJ!!'" (Yes Joshua has not only started to talk about himself in the third person but even uses his own nickname.)

Adam Smith's voice is heard: "I've got to say; I've never seen anything so impressive in all my time of watching heavy weight boxing! And I've watched boxing since I got hooked after the famous 'fan man' incident involving Riddick Blowe and Er...... The other fellow.....Darth Vader"

"I reaaaaaalllly can't see this girl's pussy going the distance, can you Stormzy??!!... Er Stormzy??"

Adam Smith looks down and notices Stormzy can't talk as his mouth is full up with Joshua's entire nutsack and balls.

Adam growls: "Sorry Stormzy can't comment at the moment as he's trying to get an inter-round ring piece interview, sorry ringside interview of course, with Joshua"

"Yeah yeah YEAH! RAH! What you think now? You my side ho now, you better believe!!!!"

India can't respond as the pain from her permanently prolapsed bowels is so intense she has passed out.

Fiona: are you sure we shouldn't go in? It sounds rather worrying?

Quentin: oh shush Fi, it's just a normal, down to earth, every day, run of the mill chap having fun like any other Tom Dick and Harry... I met him, I can assure he's extremely polite, and very very humble....

Adam Smith growls: "This can't go on much longer surely! I tell you what Sky viewers are definitely getting value for money tonight! I don't think anyone will be asking for a refund after this performance hahhahaha growl growl"

AJ: "AWWWWWWWOOOOOGGGAAAAAHHHHHHH! You ready for the mini Femis? You want da mini-Femis!!!!!"

AJ withdraws and proceeds to cover the open mouthed Stormzy with half a litre of mini Femis whilst roaring "Fvck dat future legend talk!! I'm today's legend innit!!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHH AJ FOR LIFE!!!' AJ IS THE BEST EVER! AJ IS BETTER DAN GOD HIMSELF! GOD CANT TAKE MY POWER FAM!!!!!"

Adam Smith: "What a climax to a potential fight of the year! Well, if you were lucky enough to purchase this exclusive SKY pay per view broadcast.... YOU [pause] have just [pause] witnessed the birth [pause] of a legend! Now down to Ed Robinson. Ed? What can you say about that?"

To be continued in the next humble instalment

[freddydoesdallas]

"Dad?" Said India. "I'd like you to meet my new boyfriend."

"I'm sorry Darling," replied Quentin. "I can't see him.... There's a huge black man in the way...."

[Pickers]

Getting back on top I thought the show was a complete waste of time. AJ is boxing's Roman Reigns. No time for his act. He has all the talent in the world but comes across as a hyped up, marketing machine-powered X Factor winner.

[orbtastic]

when AJ finish you be on sick pay

lulz

[handsofstone]

Classic thread

[Boxing Prospect]

Getting back on top I thought the show was a complete waste of time. AJ is boxing's Roman Reigns. No time for his act. He has all the talent in the world but comes across as a hyped up, marketing machine-powered X Factor winner.

...so who is boxings Seth Rollings?...

[banjo]

Getting back on top I thought the show was a complete waste of time. AJ is boxing's Roman Reigns. No time for his act. He has all the talent in the world but comes across as a hyped up, marketing machine-powered X Factor winner.

I agree, he bores the piss out of me, a sportsman for the sheep. There will be thousands of people packing out bars tonight, going on about how great AJ is and how humble he is because they see it on his instagram account.

[Sklar]

Later on, Quentin has retired to bed with his wife Fiona who's not too sure about India's new boyfriend, Femi.

Fiona: Quentts, I'm not sure about this new fellow.....I mean is he right? What was wrong with Rupert? He's about to become a partner at his solicitor's firm!

Quentin: look you know Rupert's with his new husband Graham and is facing a crown court trial for fraud and embezzlement. And please! Don't be racist! Don't judge Anthony with your patronising middle class values.

Fiona: Oh come on Quentin! You know I'm not racist; remember I raised £68.70 in my stall at the village fair for victims of honour killings in Pakistan!

Quentin: We all know that's just another form of racism! By raising money for this cause you're basically promoting prejudice and perpetuating racism by claiming that all Muslims are women hating barbarians who subjugate women and throw acid in their face! I told you Fiona stop reading the bloody Daily Mail!

Fiona: Oh fvck off Quentin. And can we please watch Big Brother instead of Al Jazeera news! I think we need to know what the common man thinks about and...

BANG BANG BANG BANG

Fiona: What on earth is that noise?
Fiona and Quentin get up, go down corridor to neaby India's room.

BANG BANG BANG BANG SMASH

Quentin: what on God's good earth is that?

Fiona: I don't know Quentin, it sounds like. Like some sort of bongo party!

Quentin: for Christ's sake I told you not to use that term it's very offensive!

A voice can suddenly be heard -"what? You serious! tell me again girl! You think you can really handle AJ???!! No one can handle all dah AJ, lengf and bredf like airport runway, never got time to do foreplay, when AJ finish you be on sick pay"

What on earth..... That sounds just like... Well... Just like well known grime artist Stormzy! Yelled Quentin.

Fiona: Who on earth is that?

Quentin: You remember darling we watched him at last year's MOBO awards on channel 4! He was very.... You know... Rhythmic.

Fiona: Oh that nonsense

Quentin: Stop it. I told you, it's important that different cultures get to celebrate their own cultures appropriately and without patronising white parochial interference.

A strange, oddly growling voice is suddenly heard: "And there he is! dare I say it, dare I say it - the best British heavyweight ever for sure, but is he the best heavyweight everrrr? What do think think Stormzy?" It sounds just like Adam Smith.....

"Why you speaking like dat fam? Why you be growling like you're some kind of lion innit?"

A deep voice is suddenly breaks everyone's thoughts : "You think you can handle AJ? For real?! You dreaming sket, you're bout to samples my A game ya ratchet, skinny batty white hoodrat!"

BANG BANG BANG

Fiona: good god Quentin, it sounds like that man is going to break my new John Lewis bed! Do you know it cost us £2,500??!!

Quentin: I told you to stop being so bloody materialistic. It's his culture, who are we to judge it?

BANG BANG BANG SMASH

India's painful whimpers can vaguely heard in the background.

The voice in the bedroom gets even deeper and louder "You can't take this ting innit! Imma stick it in your batty so you learn to respect da AJ!!'" (Yes Joshua has not only started to talk about himself in the third person but even uses his own nickname.)

Adam Smith's voice is heard: "I've got to say; I've never seen anything so impressive in all my time of watching heavy weight boxing! And I've watched boxing since I got hooked after the famous 'fan man' incident involving Riddick Blowe and Er...... The other fellow.....Darth Vader"

"I reaaaaaalllly can't see this girl's pussy going the distance, can you Stormzy??!!... Er Stormzy??"

Adam Smith looks down and notices Stormzy can't talk as his mouth is full up with Joshua's entire nutsack and balls.

Adam growls: "Sorry Stormzy can't comment at the moment as he's trying to get an inter-round ring piece interview, sorry ringside interview of course, with Joshua"

"Yeah yeah YEAH! RAH! What you think now? You my side ho now, you better believe!!!!"

India can't respond as the pain from her permanently prolapsed bowels is so intense she has passed out.

Fiona: are you sure we shouldn't go in? It sounds rather worrying?

Quentin: oh shush Fi, it's just a normal, down to earth, every day, run of the mill chap having fun like any other Tom Dick and Harry... I met him, I can assure he's extremely polite, and very very humble....

Adam Smith growls: "This can't go on much longer surely! I tell you what Sky viewers are definitely getting value for money tonight! I don't think anyone will be asking for a refund after this performance hahhahaha growl growl"

AJ: "AWWWWWWWOOOOOGGGAAAAAHHHHHHH! You ready for the mini Femis? You want da mini-Femis!!!!!"

AJ withdraws and proceeds to cover the open mouthed Stormzy with half a litre of mini Femis whilst roaring "Fvck dat future legend talk!! I'm today's legend innit!!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHH AJ FOR LIFE!!!' AJ IS THE BEST EVER! AJ IS BETTER DAN GOD HIMSELF! GOD CANT TAKE MY POWER FAM!!!!!"

Adam Smith: "What a climax to a potential fight of the year! Well, if you were lucky enough to purchase this exclusive SKY pay per view broadcast.... YOU [pause] have just [pause] witnessed the birth [pause] of a legend! Now down to Ed Robinson. Ed? What can you say about that?"

To be continued in the next humble instalment

[palooka]

Anyone who calls themselves humble generally is anything but.

I agree, it's like people who claim they've got a great sense of humour.

[bripez]

And I have read in 3 mainstream papers how Joshua is 'the guy every mother dreams of her daughter bringing home.'.... Yup, I bet they're thousands of Home Counties middle class mothers, can't sleep at night, just hoping "I wish my young, pretty, educated daughter would bring back an ex drug dealer, former Watford violent gangster, 18 1/2 stone black heavyweight boxer, steroid abuser and introduce him as my future son-in-law!"

I know what you mean. It's the nauseating fable of the champagne socialist. No journalist writing that seriously wants their daughter to bring home a giant, semi-literate, drug dealing black man from the gutter. Your daughter, sure. They'd celebrate that delightful example of progressive British rainbow diversity. But they sure as hell don't want their daughter getting knobbed by an AJ or a Dillian Whyte.

Every time the smiling Joshua uses the word "humble" some primeval intuition inside me substitutes it for "psycho".

He's like Uriah Heep on steroids. I'm convinced a sociopathic explosion is looming.

I think I just pissed myself!

Yeah a couple of cracking posts there

I too reckon that Joshua is likely to explode one day, and the more success he has with the usual hangers-on and yes-men then the more likely.

hopefully it will happen when Camp Eddie jumps in the ring trying to get some reflected glory.

Eddie might be a big lad and fall into mockney speak every now and again to try to sound handy but Frampton put him in his place when he said he would smash him in and I would back Frampton in any fight.

Imagine Eddie jumping in the ring and Joshua telling him to fornicate off and smashing him in, all in front of the I-film sycophants ! That would be brilliant tv.

[Counter-puncher]

Did Frampton really tell CE he'd do him in a fight? that amuses me but shows a stooping in dignity on Frampton's part, IMO>

[bripez]

Did Frampton really tell CE he'd do him in a fight? that amuses me but shows a stooping in dignity on Frampton's part, IMO>

I remember seeing a presser where Frampton said something like he would smash him in 2 minutes (I don't think he named camp Eddie (more like said "a promoter") but it was clear who he was on about.

I hope I didn't dream it and somebody more technical than I am could post a link

[Counter-puncher]

Did Frampton really tell CE he'd do him in a fight? that amuses me but shows a stooping in dignity on Frampton's part, IMO>

I remember seeing a presser where Frampton said something like he would smash him in 2 minutes (I don't think he named camp Eddie (more like said "a promoter") but it was clear who he was on about.

shocking.

I doubt it'd take me longer than a minute, he's a world class boxer, Frampton's aggressive insinuations need to step up.

[dbf]

Reggaereggae you've had me in stitches - brilliant.

Joshua is a bully and I think when someone can give it back (better than whyte did) the wheels might fall off. Just wish Martin was a sharper southpaw.

[reggaereggae]

Final instalment of Femi story:


Ed Robinson removes his mouth from the balloon of Helium he has been inhaling and in a high pitched, rapid drone with no intonation whatsoever speaks:

"AJ spectacular performance tonight-tuh congratulations on destroying and negotiating a potential banana skin of an opponent who put such a great fight tough wasn't he do you think you are the undisputed future of the heavyweight-tuh division?"

AJ: "Ed, you know me; and you can ask my side boyfriend, sorry manager, Eddie Hearns as well. I am a normal down to earth guy. I can't take any credit for obliterating that vagina and anus. This is for the fans. As you know I still live with my mother, bless her, and she always makes sure I #stayhumble"

Robinson: "Heartwarming story Anthony as everyone knows you came from the toughest and most dangerous streets of Watford everyone in boxing knows how dedicated you are and how down to earth and normal you are they describe you as exactly the kind of guy every mother dreams her daughter would bring home with her will you take a day off and celebrate a bit surely you're allows that one luxury what do you think Eddie?"

Eddie Hearns looking red faced and post-orgasmic: "Well, as the inventor of British Boxing, this young man you see before you is not the future of boxing..... He IS boxing. You can put any of the greats in front of him, Tyson, Lewis, Ali and I guarantee he will beat every one of them.

Robinson: yes but Lewis and Tyson have been retired for years and Ali is almost 80

Eddie Hearns: "Look Ed, let's not look at contractual complications now. We feel AJ could beat anyone in history, any animal, tiger, lion, elephants, rhino. It doesn't matter. Once they feel the power, AJ will take them out"

Robinson: "Eddie you've got something on the side of your mouth it looks like yoghurt or maybe UHU glue or something!

Eddie Hearns: "let's not talk about semen, let's talk about the future"

Robinson: "so what is in the future for Anthony Klitschko Tyson Fury Povetkin Wilder Browne?"

Eddie Hearns: "Well Ed, normally I like to wait a bit before I announce that I'm going to make an announcement about the next opponent. But as feel so warm inside I can announce to the public that I'm ready to announce the next possible opponent out of a choice of three possibilities"

Robinson: "Can you announce that now for our SKY exclusive pay per view value for money extravaganza viewers?"

Eddie Hearns: "as a gesture of goodwill to Anthony's fans and at his suggestion, because he just cares about the fans and wants to stay humble, I can. I normally would never do this, but what you get with Anthony Joshua is down-to-earthedness so I can announce that for Anthony Joshua's first we're looking at big names, I mean big names. And there'll also be an absolutely STACKED undercard"

Robinson: "And can our valued Sky PPV viewers hear those names and please hurry because we've got to run some adverts soon so we can rinse our mug punters out of more money?

Eddie Hearns (takes a big breath): "Yes. We're looking at some big names.... [pause] Robert Helenius, Tomasz Adamek and Jenna Jameson..... I told you you Ed, we're taking it to the next level"

Robinson: "Wow Jenna Jameson.... A very dangerous fight-tuh.... Would this be at catch weight-tuh?"

Eddie Hearns: "if Anthony Joshua fights Jameson, we may see the first woman who can take Anthony Joshua's length, breath, size and power. We might see the first SKY pay per view with a billion buys... And then I join the serious money, I join the Abramoviches, the Trumps, the billionaire boys'a club and the whole world will bow down and worship the name that is Eddie Hearns! People will build monuments to Eddie Hearns! Eddie Hearns will rule the world and everyone will bow down to Eddie Hearns and say [Starts foaming at the mouth] "EDDIE HEARNS DIDNT JUST INVENT BRITISH BOXING HE INVENTED OXYGEN, HYDROGEN, CARBON AND LIFE ITSELF! HE INVENTED THE UNIVERSE! HE INVENTED GOD, HE INVENTED HIMSELF AND HE CAN OUT PROMOTE ANY FVCKING MAN BORN OF HIS MOTHER INCLUDING JESUS CHRIST AND HE CAN drool drool gibber gibber" (Camp Eddie's foaming and snarling so much now that he resembles a hyena with advanced rabies)

Robinson: "Please mind the language Eddie and Sorry have to stop you there for a commercial break after that we return to the studio for our experts' views on how amazing Joshua is and how he will rule boxing forever only available on SKY pay per view......!"

[end of transmission, unlike camp Eddie I don't think I can flog this horse any longer!]

[reggaereggae]

To paraphrase Barry Tompkins - "and WE have a new humble era in heavyweight boxing"