Best boxing one liners

Post Reply
jim wright
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 61
Joined: 16 Jul 2007, 13:20

Best boxing one liners

Post by jim wright »

Sorry if this thread has been done before but a kid made me chuckle the other day when he told me,

I'm going to hit you with that many combinations you'll think your a safe!

I'm sure he has just nicked it from someone but it made me smile nonetheless,

anyone for anymore?
lefthook82
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 1837
Joined: 07 Mar 2008, 04:33

Post by lefthook82 »

Thats grade A quality quote. Brilliant


"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills?
TerribleTerry
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 5272
Joined: 29 Aug 2003, 12:30

Post by TerribleTerry »

Bob Arum's infamous:

"Yesterday I was lying, today I am telling the truth."

Sums the business up
TerribleTerry
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 5272
Joined: 29 Aug 2003, 12:30

Post by TerribleTerry »

Found some belters here:

http://ffbookmarks.com/boxing_quotes.htm

Don King, on boxing's rating system: "When we started, it was based on lies. It's changing now. There are no secrets in the business. You've got to come with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It's becoming very confusing."

Bob Arum, replying to a reporters question. "Yesterday I was lying, today I am telling the truth."

Muhammad Ali: "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you."

Buddy McGirt, when he was asked by Gil Clancy who would win the up-coming fight between Maurice Blocker and Glenwood Brown he replied: "The black guy."

Harry Carpenter: "This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose."

Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts: "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other."

Muhammed Ali, after failing an Army intelligence test, "I said I was the greatest, not the smartest."

Brian London, answering if he would fight Ali again: "Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg."

Willie Pep: "I've got it made. I've got a wife and a TV set -- and they're both working."

Here is a conversation between George Foreman and Bob Arum in 1995, Foreman: "Bob, I can't chase these guys anymore." Arum's reply: "George, I cant put it in the contracts that they can't run."

Randall "Tex" Cobb: "If you screw things up in tennis, it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass."

Bob Hope: "I was called "Rembrandt" Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas."

Bob Arum, after his fighter, Iran Barkley, beat Darrian Van Horn: "If you think Barkley was mad before the fight, wait until he sees how many people are taking part of his purse."

Marlene Bugner, wife of Joe Bugner: "I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight."

Muhammad Ali, on heavyweight boxing champion Sonny Liston: "He's too ugly to be the champ!"

Jim Watt, former WBC lightweight champion, when asked about his "white complexion" by a reporter said: "I'm like a bottle of milk with gloves."

Tony Galento, when asked about Shakespeare: "I ain't never heard of him. I suppose he's one of them foreign heavyweights. They're all lousy. Sure as hell I'll moider de bum."

Tony Sibson, on being beaten in a match: "I figured I'd find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself "Where did he go?" I knew he was there because he kept hitting me."

Muhammad Ali: "It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am."

Mike Tyson, on fighting Lennox Lewis: "My main objective is to be professional, but to kill him."

Harry Carpenter: "He looks up through blood smeared lips."

Joe Frazier, talking to Ken Norton at a social gathering. Frazier: "Hey man, what you been doing?"; Norton: "My wife just had a baby."; Frazier: "Congratulations! Whose baby is it?"

Muhammad Ali, on an upcoming fight with Floyd Patterson: "I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on."

Willie Pep, talking to an old opponent years after each retired. "Do you recognize me?" the old opponent asked. Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying "Lie down so I can recognize you."

Mark Kaylor: "I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time."

Muhammad Ali: "At home I am a nice guy—but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far."

Willie Pastrano, when asked by the ring doctor if he knew where he was: "You're damn right I do. I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the shit knocked out of me."

Henry Cooper, replying to boxing abolitionist, Baroness Edith Summerskill, about the brutalities of his sport. Baroness: "Mr. Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?"
Cooper: "Well madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?"

Muhammad Ali: "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."

Eddie Shaw, referring to Herol "Bomber" Graham : "He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem."

Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."

Mike Tyson, on writer Wallace Matthews: "[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse."

Harry Carpenter: "It's not one of Bruno's fastest wins... but it's one of them."

Mark Kaylor: "I've only ever seen Errol Christie fight once before and that was the best I've ever seen him fight."

Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Randall "Tex" Cobb: "When I got up I stuck to my plan -- stumbling forward and getting hit in the face."

Muhammad Ali: "I ain't got no quarrel with those Viet Cong."

Blackie Sherrod, talking about a heavyweight contender: "He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts."

Max Barr, on Joe Louis: "He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling."

Harry Kabakoff, on Chango Cruz: "The bum was up and down so many times I thought he was an Otis elevator."

Terry Lawless: "He's standing there making a sitting target of himself."

Muhammad Ali: "I'm so mean I make medicine sick."

Mike Tyson, to the Nevada State Athletic Commission: "I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson."

Nick Wilshire: "I can only see it going one way, that's my way. How it's actually going to go I can't really say."

Muhammad Ali: "Howard Cosell was gonna be a boxer when he was a kid—only they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough."

Tommy Farr: "Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed."

Muhammad Ali, when asked about his golf game: "I'm the best. I just haven't played yet."

Dan Duva, on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: " Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Alan Massengale, after Don Zimmer got knocked down by Pedro Martinez in the playoffs and Evander Holyfield lost to James Toney.: "I felt sorry for Zimmer this weekend. Next time, if he wants to rumble, maybe he should pick on someone a little closer to his age. Evander Holyfield might be available."

Harry Carpenter: "Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue."

Tex Cobb, responding to a reporter who said Cobb was a fat, cocaine snorting , drunk. Cobb replied: "I'm not fat.

Dan Duva, referring to whether or not he thought Mike Tyson would learn anything in prison: "He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Max Baer, when asked for his definition of fear: "Standing across the ring from Joe Louis and knowing he wants to go home early."

Muhammed Ali: "There's nothing wrong with getting knocked down, as long as you get right back up."

George Foreman: "The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters."
TheGoods
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 1270
Joined: 28 Sep 2003, 16:10

Post by TheGoods »

Hugh McIlvanney on Joe Bugner

(He) had the physique of a Greek statue, but fewer moves.
Chambers2
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 6499
Joined: 24 Feb 2004, 07:24

Post by Chambers2 »

Excellent list Terry :lol: :lol:

James Toney strutting round the ring shouting "Next!!! Who's Next???" after his win over Evander (as I recall)
Shirow
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 1718
Joined: 29 Nov 2003, 11:15

Post by Shirow »

James Toney - Burger King, Burger King, Burger King

Lamon Brewster - My left hook makes my right hand jealous
chris s
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 960
Joined: 02 Jun 2004, 08:56

Post by chris s »

Think it was Mickey Duff who first said "If you want loyalty get a dog."
Carbo
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 1827
Joined: 23 Nov 2006, 14:25

Post by Carbo »

Cus D'Amato once said of Bob Arum "When he pats you on the back, he's just looking for a place to stick the knife", and “When I finish shaking Bob Arum’s hand, I always check to make sure my wedding ring’s still there.”

Joe Louis: "He can run, but he can't hide".

Larry Holmes once said (and a can't remember the exact quote, but it went something like), "I refuse to be in the same room as Don King. I'll only talk on the phone to him. If I sit in the room with him he'll have persuaded me to do something by the time I leave."
josh fg
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 3180
Joined: 07 Jul 2004, 20:30

Post by josh fg »

Muhammad Ali to George foreman in reference to Foreman's American flag waving at the 68 Olympics (him being the first black American to win after the famous clenched fist protests)

“I’m going to beat your Christian ass, you white flag waving bitch you.”
TerribleTerry
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 5272
Joined: 29 Aug 2003, 12:30

Post by TerribleTerry »

mercman wrote:After knocking Jack Bodell out in 1 round Jerry was asked if he found Bodell awkward? 'Well, he sure fell awkward...' replied Quarry.
Great shout - one of my favourites :D
jameswilson
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 13395
Joined: 08 Jan 2004, 18:01

Post by jameswilson »

'Unfortunately I couldnt win this title fight but, as they say Harry, thats cricket.' - Frank Bruno.
whiskey
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 11956
Joined: 27 Mar 2007, 14:52

Post by whiskey »

Im sure i read on here the other day an old Ali quote along the lines of :-

"I'm so fast, when i flick the light off i'm in bed before it's dark"
jameswilson
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 13395
Joined: 08 Jan 2004, 18:01

Post by jameswilson »

'You know what I mean....' - Junior Witter

'Like' - Enzo Maccarinelli

'wmphhhh cdasciusjnd' - Enzo Calzaghe
el_grande_mauro_mina
Lightweight
Posts: 11215
Joined: 24 Dec 2017, 11:54

Post by el_grande_mauro_mina »

During an after dinner speech given by Brian London about his career, a member of the audience asked how he could be so proud of boxing when one of his former opponents Muhammad Ali was suffering from parkinsons disease.

'Well don't blame me pal, I never laid a glove on him!'

:lol:
funso banjo baby
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 4417
Joined: 23 Sep 2005, 11:05

Post by funso banjo baby »

After defeat to Rocky Lockridge Aussie Barry Michael has a grotesquely swollen beetroot coloured ear. When asked weather it hurt he replied like a tru Oz, 'cor...bloody ell '


Rocky Kelly live on daytime itv 'thank god im the f****ng guvnor'


Harry Carpenter....on kili versus hughroy currie , 'kilimanjaro has got slower...if thats possible'
Mowgli
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 69
Joined: 02 May 2008, 13:42

Post by Mowgli »

Muhammed Ali,when told Jimmy Ellis could and would beat him. "If Jimmy Ellis DREAMS of beating me,he better wake up and apologize"
ebeneezer
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 514
Joined: 23 Sep 2005, 17:01

Post by ebeneezer »

Merchant : Jones is moving up to heavyweight to attempt to retrieve the golden egg from the nest - but he should be careful that there isn't an Eagle in that nest.


Foreman :.........or a Woodpecker
josh fg
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 3180
Joined: 07 Jul 2004, 20:30

Post by josh fg »

Mowgli wrote:Muhammed Ali,when told Jimmy Ellis could and would beat him. "If Jimmy Ellis DREAMS of beating me,he better wake up and apologize"
I thought that one was to frasier when he turned up to Ali's pre Ellis training camp.


Jurno to ali/clay "I saw the champ [liston] yesterday"
Clay (interupting) "ain't he ugly"
journalist trys not to laugh and continue questions
jim wright
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 61
Joined: 16 Jul 2007, 13:20

Post by jim wright »

When the duke of Edinburgh visited the 1968 olympic boxing team he tried to reassure them about the effects of competing at altitude. The story goes something like.....

Duke: I don't think the effects are too bad, I've played polo many times at altitude.

Chris Finnegan: Yeah but how were the horses?

Quality
WildWaylon
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 3223
Joined: 02 Nov 2005, 13:35

Post by WildWaylon »

Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." That one cracked me up. What a contrast to the witty remarks made by Ali, brilliant humour=intelligence.
states
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 3554
Joined: 26 Jun 2004, 13:40

Post by states »

Cus D'Amato: "Bob Arum is one of the worst people in the western hemisphere. I don't know the eastern hemisphere very well, but I suspect he'd be one of the worst people there too, if he went."

Elisha Obed, after being asked to name his best punch: "I don't know, I've never hit myself."

Brian London: "Muhammad Ali isn't a puncher. He just hit me so many times I didn't know where I was."

Chris Eubank: "Nigel Benn is like washing up liquid: built on hype, and one day the bubble will burst."

Tommy Farr: "I only have to read Joe Louis' name and my nose starts bleeding again."

Muhammad Ali, after being told Chuck Wepner was the next 'Great White Hope': "That's the only hope he's got."

Hugh McIlvanney: "In his prime, Joe Bugner had the physique of a Greek statue, but with fewer moves."
MightyWarrior
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 13262
Joined: 23 Jan 2003, 14:01

Post by MightyWarrior »

Joe Bugner at press conf "I'll fight anyone! Even Jesus Christ!"

Hugh McIlvanney "C'mon Joe, you're only saying that because you know he has bad hands"
Mowgli
Heavyweight
Heavyweight
Posts: 69
Joined: 02 May 2008, 13:42

Post by Mowgli »

joshfg, it was definately Jimmy Ellis,unless he also used it on Frazier,it was said in a cafe in Louisville where he and Ellis were both from,i think it was said by one of Ellis's relations.
Post Reply